|Reviews for Alone|
| Bushwah chapter 1 . 7/29/2012
We are one pain, INADVISABLE!
Or rather, "We are one nation, indivisible!" (the first speech of Emperor Palpatine... yes, HIM.)
| Splash Where Tear Drops chapter 1 . 2/27/2011
I've got a lot of friends, but they aren't. I don't have anyone to connect with, anyone to spill my heart out to. I did have one friend, but God took her away from my life. Ever since, I've never had a friend like her.
Good poem just a few things.
- it doesn't mean anything.
mixed - do you mean 'mixed'?
Close your eyes[;] acknowledge our existence, our sorrow, for us, for you[,] - ';' means 'the same' put a comma there instead. the comma at the end is just hanging there. take it out.
Anyways, other than that, it was a good poem.
P.S. Don't think I'm flaming you or following you and taking out every detail that's wrong in all your stories. Don't think that I think they suck.
Otherwise...why review? Why would I waste my valuable time on you? Because you've got potential. I like everything I've read so far. There are just some things I feel need to be corrected. I would like you to use what I've told you. There aren't many people on the internet that say more than "It was good." or "I like it. Keep going!" be gratful that someone who wants writing to get better has come to you and suggested things. Don't take my advice, go ahead. You aren't hurting me: You're hurting yourself.
Still, I am going to review every story and chapter you have. I love this poem. I can relate to it. At least I think you can improve.
| RebornSoul chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
I like that poem
| meowmie chapter 1 . 2/11/2011
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 1 . 10/30/2010
Thanks for your review on "A Poem for My Wenis". I took your advice on the rating.
Your poem is actually pretty good. I have to admit, it did touch me. As simple and unedited as it is, it is very powerful. It comes across with a very personal touch.
That said, as a poet, EVERYTHING you do in a poem - the words you choose, the lines you break, what you say, what you DON'T say - should all be there for a reason. Otherwise, your poem doesn't say as much as it could.
I found the three equals signs unnecessary and a little off-putting. Otherwise, you have a pretty solid poem here!
Keep up the good work, and keep doing some of the non-zombie stuff. I like what you have here, and would like to see more.
| PoetryMagic12 chapter 1 . 6/26/2010
Yeah there are spelling mistakes but heck I make them too. I thought it was a nice poem. My favorite line would have to be
"Thousands of us are out here,
We just have to find the right hearts.
We're all beside you," LOVE THAT
| dean mckeane chapter 1 . 9/30/2009
i love this thank you
| Simbara chapter 1 . 9/23/2009
I understand this completely
| Aoide's Anthem chapter 1 . 5/23/2009
So amazingly true and reassuring.
| tea101 chapter 1 . 5/18/2009
Compared to yours, mine is all about me and my pain. Yours reaches out to others to comfort them. It helps to know.
| Althea Dreamer chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
I am one of those thousands. I could really connect with this poem. Good job.
| Moon-Chaser chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
I like your writting style and your use of repitition. You are right there are so many of us out there.
Keep it up.
Thanks for all your reviews!
| he ate my soul chapter 1 . 5/8/2009
I like the repetition, though I do hate the word 'cuz'. Other than that matter of personal taste, I liked it.