Reviews for West
AlwaysTheNegativeOptimist chapter 3 . 6/29/2009
Er, wow... Corey is... something.


He reminds me of someone i used to know. They are almost exactly alike, except the guy i knew was actually pretty smart despite how he would act.

I hope you update soon.
Miss Mysty chapter 1 . 5/13/2009
I gotta gie you credit in one area: the summary was really nice and drew me in. But as far as the actual story goes, it isn't all that... draw-in-y. There's a huge info dump at the beginning about the main character's life, which itself is a big no-no when it comes to writing. If you can't find a way to fit that information into the story without having to state it all right at the beginning, it isn't needed.

There's also the main character himself. I don't like his attitude. I suppose you were going for clever, snarky, cool, don't-give-a-damn guy, but he just comes off as ungreatful and rather bratty, not to mention an 'I'm so special' complex. Military brats aren't incredibly rare or special. My mother was one, moving all over the US growing up, and she didn't think she was special at all. When one lives a life that's different from that of a lot of kids, they tend to not see it as different, rather that the way of life that's opposite of theirs being weird, especially if they're suddenly forced into it.

Combined with the fact that you don't seem to have the right idea of how to format dialogue (it's a pet peeve of mine, and I don't feel like explaining it for the millionth time, so just crack open a published novel and see how it's done), the info dump and the MC's attitude really made me not want to continue with this story. It might be an unfortunate choice; the story could get amazing after this, but first impressions are important, and you didn't do all that well as far as I'm concerned.
ForeverYoung91 chapter 3 . 5/13/2009
Very cute, this story is so innocent like...update soon.
LilyPad chapter 2 . 5/13/2009
I like the new character :) ur writing style is nice
LilyPad chapter 1 . 5/13/2009
Cute story :)
This-is-my-penname-2 chapter 2 . 5/10/2009
aw! how cute.
AlphaBeatKayGee chapter 2 . 5/10/2009
Oh! 2 updates in one day *shimmyshimmy*

Love the new character! He seems interesting...just like the summary says. uh...can't wait to see where the story goes from here tho ( I'm not one to review often at all but I'm feeling good i can't say you'll get one for every chapter but i like this story)..update soon!