|Reviews for Curse of Loki|
| Rue Marie chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
You used the term 'execution bell' too often...I am guessing, in a way, it signifies the three cries of the rooster?
In any case, it actually annoyed me, but whatever. Also, you should not cite inward thought, then have your character voice the same thing. Either just have her think it, or say it. I refer to the statement "Her only fault was that she was born. Her only sins were those of her father!"
Also, the female narrating the story feels unreal in the manner she works. She fails to seem female, which, in the time it apparently takes place, is just bizarre. I am all for breaking conventions, but you have to adjust your characters according to era...unfortunately. Females tended to act frail, especially nobles. Also, she would not have been able to get to the platform; someone would have realistically halted her.
This was definitely more enjoyable to read then some of your other works. Though, I tend to enjoy short bits like this, and sometimes find them better than novels, which can drag on character development until it just pisses you off...
Anyway, own personal opinions and such. Do what you wish with it.
| divinexs chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
o.o What a nice story. I love your descriptions. Though, I'm a bit confused. Is the narrator a girl in love with the one who died?
Also, I thought it was a bit redundant to repeat the parts: [Her only fault was that she was born. Her only sins were those of her father!] in a dialogue after you have already narrated it in the story.
But yea, nice story. I liked it very much.
| An Inside Joke chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
I liked the way this developed thematically, although the action of the piece felt unrealistically dramatic. I found it difficult to believe that executioners would let the narrator get so close to one of the condemned, and the speech was so general that it didn't feel all that moving. Overall, I think the story was strong, but little over-played moments like that diminished the effect somewhat.