|Reviews for The Quiet Kid|
| Atavaka chapter 1 . 5/12/2009
The writing itself is very strong and your selection of metaphors is very appropriate; I particularly like "A paper airplane sails throught he air, floating on laughter and dirty words."
But, while you certainly capture the experience of being a "quiet kid" in class, the story itself feels incomplete. Perhaps this snapshot would benefit more as a poem than as a short story; right now, it feels too brief and sudden to be considered a short story. This is a very abstract criticism, and I'm really sorry I can't clarify myself much more on this point. It just seems "un-storylike."
The language, however, is very close to being poetic. At times, it downright is. Certainly something to consider.
If you do decide to keep the story label on the piece, consider answering more questions. Who is this narrator? Why is he/she quiet? What's the narrator's social life like? Does he/she have relationships with other students in class? What is the narrator's non-academic life like? Always, always expand.
Overall, though, beautiful writing. Please continue, or at the ver least, revise.