|Reviews for Elements|
| Blaze-Brook chapter 15 . 6/29/2009
dramatic ending. please update soon and check out our elemnt stories
XXBrookXX( Not Blaze)
| Blaze-Brook chapter 7 . 6/29/2009
six? one for each element then? is that earth,air,fire,water, dark and light? or some others those are the six elemnts that i think of. if you like elemnts then you should read our stories( This is Brook) they are about elements. please check them out
| Lizabellhanson05 chapter 15 . 5/21/2009
Pretty good...it leaves me wanting more which, in my opinion, is what your writing should inspire!
| Evellowen chapter 15 . 5/20/2009
In my imagination, this teenage boy looks super fine! Good job, update soon! .
| joker09 chapter 15 . 5/19/2009
Yay, you finally updated chapter 15 :)
Is that teenager guy a traitor.. or not?
Need to know! Update soon1
| Evellowen chapter 14 . 5/18/2009
Update! Please! I beg you!
| Evellowen chapter 9 . 5/18/2009
Is it me or is her desire for information about the elements is greater then her concern for Ms. Aulie? Welp, thats life. Keep up the good work.
| Evellowen chapter 8 . 5/18/2009
You don't know how much I'm enjoying this story so far! OR should I say a 'soon to be published novel?' No really, I'm serious, with a little help and revising and such and other little things, I'm sure you could get this published!
| Evellowen chapter 1 . 5/17/2009
O Im glad I started reading your story today. I like it already from the first chapter. Now all I have to do is read the other 13... Keep up the good work!
| fishoom chapter 14 . 5/15/2009
Thanks for the review, I thought I'd return the favour.
But if you don't like constructive criticism, don't read :P (I do tend to focus on cons, sorry)
I think the chapters are a bit too short. You could probably combine quite a few of them together. Some chapters you could even condense. For instance, all of chapter eleven could be condensed to a paragraph, or even a sentence. I do recommend omitting that chapter, by the way. It's a bit out of place in my opinion because it kind of makes the cliff hanger at the end of ten unnecessary (and you want to keep these cliff hangers).
Try to show your description of things through action, not by blatantly describing them (I.e. "show, don't tell"). An example would be, "Mary was a pretty girl, with blue eyes and blond hair" would change to "Mary's blue eyes glistened with joy, her blond hair bouncing with each step."
(I just shamelessly stole that from a website, haha. It's too late for me to come up with one on my own.)
Otherwise, keep it up! I'm glad to see there is a young writer out there that is serious with their writing. :)
I think I will give you more advice as you continue to update your story. (Hopefully that gives you the incentive to write! haha)
| joker09 chapter 13 . 5/15/2009
Lenaleelover13! I'm so proud of you! You updated your story correctly this time! (cheer) And it's all a thanks to me.
That guy in chapter 14, he reminds me of a certain someone (hin-hint).
But keep on going! Review my second chapter for my story!