Reviews for shooting stars
Redlove124 chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
OMG, I LOVED THIS! I really like this, because, at least to me, it gives a sadder, maybe a little angry, twist to the concept of shooting stars. And i also liked the format of this piece, i don't think that i've seen it before, but it looks really good here. "wishes aren’t all the same, aren’t all what you think they might be"I also liked this line, because it shows the concept of "Be careful what you wish for" and I always enjoy those because they make you think.

Good job!
Love And Some Verses chapter 1 . 8/1/2009
Beautiful. I love your poetry, and the thought and emotion that goes into them. Interesting format. I like. A lot.
Little girl Big world chapter 2 . 7/27/2009
Very nice just as the other about falling stars was. They both hold the same concept but are different. I like the spacing out of the letters in fall it really adds to the piece and so does "just like they do." being on a separate line. Great ending. Nicely written!
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
"careful, dreamer, someone's about to break you. maybe the stars don't like to fall."

beautiful. wow i love your poetry!
Isca chapter 2 . 7/21/2009
"Just like they do." What a powerful line. It's fascinating to think that both humans and stars 'die.' Do stars have a Heaven or a Hell of their own? Whoa...
Isca chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
I like that you used iambic diameter in this poem. Most wouldn't be able to pull off a poem in this form, but your lines were more powerful than choppy.

"Shoot me down." This opening is very striking. It appears as though the speaker has 'given up' before she has really even begun.

"I'll show you." I like the double meaning here. The words 'I'll show you' can be either vindictive or honourable. I like that you leave it up to the reader to decide which meaning suits them the best.

"Careful, dreamer." Wise words. I love the omnicient tone here. The speaker is obviously someone very powerful (God, perhaps?).

"Maybe the stars don't like to fall." Lovely ending. It's very thought-provoking. I mean, with this sense of personification, the stars have feelings; thus, falling would instill fear within their hearts. That's mind-blowing stuff, my dear. :D
Said Author chapter 2 . 7/18/2009
Lovely like the last one, I like how you wrote "fall" that way. Really emphasizes the meaning. :)
drops of rain chapter 2 . 7/18/2009
the morbid twist to this theme is lovely.

very creative. :D
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
Sorry, I owe you these RM reviews from a really long time ago. So...erm...congrats? ;

Wow, congrats on the iambic diameter! I know meter's really nasty to nail, and you did a really great job with it. I also found it interesting how you chose this one in particular. It's not a form that's used too often, but you really used it effectively in this piece.

I also love the topic of this. It seems to have a central idea of "be careful what you wish for," but you really expand it into much more. The persona was very interested from a star's point of view; it gives it a nice twist of daring the person to wish something.

[breaks your heart. close

your eyes and dare] I'm a bit torn about the rhythm of this line. I like the pause that it creates, but it throws off your meter.

[wish. I’ll show you.] Same there.

[might be. Careful,

dreamer, someone’s] Great use of punctiation here! The pauses let the reader really stop and think about the words, and the meter still goes smoothly.
Luna Turner chapter 1 . 7/12/2009
"Shoot me down the sky and I'll give you a wish that breaks your heart." A great opening line. The essence of it, I guess you could say, is strange, but I love it all the same.

:)

There's something about this piece that I just adore. Whether it be the amazing word choice, flow of the piece, or meaning behind it, I just love it.

Amazing amazing work.

Luna Turner
drops of rain chapter 1 . 7/10/2009
Wow. This is beautiful.

And I like that it's diameter and not pentameter. It's not something I see often. :)
CuriousContradiction chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
The lines "shoot me down the sky" and "Careful, dreamer, someone's out to break you" were gorgeous. The whole poem was simple but resonant.

I wish I had words that made me sound intelligent enough to review this properly, but all I'm coming up with is beautiful- the flow, each phrase, the wording, everything.

Thank you so, so much for sharing this poem.
Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 6/24/2009
A very unique concept. I really enjoyed. Love the last few lines, best ending!

adding to favorites
Said Author chapter 1 . 6/20/2009
Beautifully written. Wow.

:}
windy girl chapter 1 . 6/18/2009
love the last stanza; it's an interesting take on the concept. nice!

-max
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