Reviews for Freedom Bound
lookingwest chapter 5 . 12/18/2009
I actually found a grammar mistake! For once in my life, XD, and it's not even concerning the actual writing itself!

“we can not miss that boat.

-missing it's closing speaker tag, no biggie

Okie dokie, well! I obviously am a huge fan of this chapter because I get to see Serrae's character develop into a fighting machine-awesome. I like her better than how you played Medusa, especially because Serrae seems to have many more dimensions and also an awareness about her willingness to learn. I can't wait to see Serrea doing some kick butt damage! I also liked the little detail about Serrae not liking to be alone with Manes, I thought that was a nice dynamic touch for character relations. Also, the way that she begins developing some sort of plan concerning Athens really intrigued me, I like how she slipped the questions in without seeming like it was such an obvious big deal, and I also like getting a little more back story on Manes at the same time concerning his country of Lydia-you do information back story placement so well!
lookingwest chapter 4 . 12/18/2009
There are a lot of clean, crisp, and great things going on in this chapter. First off, I really liked how you captured the memories that Serrae had of swimming calmly in Athens while this horrific thing was going on-you know me, I love memory plays-and I think that it added more to Serrae's character to see that experience from before the shipwreck.

I saw a lot of places where you were using you wonderful period language and staying legit to the time period again, and I think that really kept the chapter tightly clean and together. I also again, liked the theme with the heroes that you used to describe Timo's character because I think that adds a juxtaposition to other attitudes he has, like his nonchalantness towards slaves, ect. Also, great working with the setting of the shipwreck and there were some great moments with the waves clashing-very intense chapter!
lookingwest chapter 3 . 12/18/2009
Ooh, I like your use of the intertextual aspects in the beginning by adding the story of Medusa into this one, I liked it because it brought in a post-modern contemporary style into play with a traditional story, kind of a mix, and it lets me know about the way that some of the myths of the gods could be a little different than traditional in your universe-great addition!

I thought that you treated the idea of the slave well, with keeping Timo's attitudes towards buying human beings in check with the way that he kind of doesn't care about whether or not it's the man's life on the line, and so acts reluctant. I also thought it was an interesting dynamic that he listened to Syros, who has slave experience, to buy a slave-fun play on identities too!
lookingwest chapter 2 . 12/18/2009
This also is something I noticed with Medusa too, but I like: is that you continuously keep period gender relations in check during these Greek stories. You're constantly conscious of it, and that takes something worth mentioning to me. With comments like "she knew he was the head of the family" and all of the different additions and details you put a woman's place, it's sad for me, but it's also true, and I'm really noticing that you keep those themes prominent.

Hmm, well the only thing that I found a little awkward was the way that Timo so easily allowed Serrae to accompany him on the trip-because since it's a central focus for this story, I thought there would be a little bit more of a conflict-I almost expected that he would say no, and she somehow disobey him and come anyway-so it just didn't go how I thought it would, then again, I think that's more my opinion, haha, so nothing to worry too much about!

from the review marathon (link in profile),

lookingwest chapter 1 . 12/18/2009
With this first chapter, I like how you started with the death of Timo's father because it really presented that catching hook that drew me in and kept me captivated, and then I liked how you went back and presented me with a history of the family dynamics, which I found very relatable and pleasing considering it's such a different time and place. I also like how you handle dialouge and the way people talk to one another, it defeintley has a different flavor to it, and is more formal somehow-this was true for Medusa to, you do a great job keeping the language very period-focused, and I know that you do do the research too, hearing your research over accents over at The Globe. So I liked the confidence in the way that your characters speak because it adds a legit flavor to the overall characterization of everyone!

From the review marathon (link in profile),

Narq chapter 8 . 6/25/2009
NO! MANES IS GONE! I liked him so much! I assume he'll be back.. but still :( me sad sad.

What Serrae has seen her relatives? Ohh~ I think Timos doesn't know yet... this is getting so interesting

sorry, won't be able to continue reviewing for tonight. You made my day though! I lOVE THIS STORY!

Narq chapter 7 . 6/25/2009
Timos is a good master. I like him.

{“I could show her,” Manes bluffed, while Serrae stared at him, aghast.} Ahh~ this makes me want to laugh and squirm and image what he'll do! PLease do do a scene with her and him!

Narq chapter 6 . 6/25/2009
{“The sickness takes its course,” Manes shrugged. “Perhaps the fever will break tonight.”/She seemed to take heart from his answer, and at once the fear had all but left her eyes.} I feel that this is too fast. She trusts him, from what you say, but just a chapter ago you say that he makes her uneasy.

Also, Manes speaks pretty formally for a soldier.. or perhaps he's a high-ranking soldier, and then, why is he not in the army?

Narq chapter 5 . 6/25/2009
Manes knows who Serrae is, doesn't he? It seems like it.

{He had been a good teacher of how to fight and avoid and parry blows, patient and encouraging, even amusing. But there was something about him, something about his quiet intensity, his constant watchfulness, that scared her when they were left alone.} but wouldn't they be alone when he's teaching her? So wouldn't it be awkward when he's trying to teach her as I assume there will be some close contact... oh well... probably I'm going too into the text.


Narq chapter 4 . 6/25/2009
Mano is an interesting character. I had initally formered a good opinion of him: {“I say we take their treasure,” Manes said, smiling a quiet, rather nasty smile.} Makes me change my mind, but then, "the young master" and he seems nice enough already. Erhg, can't make up my mind whether to like him or not!

Narq chapter 3 . 6/25/2009
I think there's something else to Manes that Serrae is not letting people know. One thing that you might want to know - I have trouble identifying the names with the person. I get the personality with the character okay, but it's the name that just doesn't stick. I think it's because your main characters all start with S. Try varfying it a bit.

Otherwise, GREAT!

Narq chapter 2 . 6/25/2009
Ah, I LOVE Serrae! You've done such a great job doing her personality! One the I might critisize it is that you need to mention her name a bit in the second part of the chapter. I could'nt find it. She's so headstrong and lively. I can't wait to see what happens!

Narq chapter 1 . 6/25/2009
Hi, I feel bad making you read my story and not returning any reviews. I think you've done really well regarding the characters and the setting. I like Syros but the seen where you say "don't make it bleed! keep your paws of it" and ect, it's very hard to understand who's taking.

This is really good though!

Michael Howard chapter 10 . 6/2/2009
You had me worried there a few times that things just wouldn't work out - pride and the inability to forgive a real or imagined slight being such powerful, albeit self-defeating, components to human behavior. But to borrow a phrase from a couple of hundred years ago, all's well that ends well. I commend you for this insightful and thoroughly entertaining story and will be very interested in seeing what you do next.
Michael Howard chapter 9 . 6/2/2009
Wow. I did not see THAT coming! Totally unexpected and yet it does not contradict in any way what we know of these characters. And in addition to surprise, I am feeling relief that this isn't the last chapter of the story. Call me old fashion but I want a happy ending here!
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