|Reviews for Chute|
| sugaplumprincess chapter 1 . 7/1/2009
I liked this little one shot a lot :-)
“He pulled the ripcord on his secondary chute. It didn’t open either. Well, that’s not good.” Hahaha, no it is indeed not good.
His thoughts about being like the Vitruvian man were pretty funny as Da Vinci’s drawing was supposed to be the perfect man and this Jack obviously has a pretty high opinion of himself even as he idiotically plunges to his death.
The pearly gates as being carved out of one giant pearl was pretty funny, but also a nice image. All you have to know is the difference between right and wrong, correct and incorrect, that was great! It’s always a little trying when someone reads something you wrote sarcastically and takes it seriously…
| Lea Ai chapter 1 . 6/6/2009
HA! "You’re able to tell the difference between right and wrong." Clever! An amusing short story...and I can see what your friend meant when he said he thought it had "deeper meaning". You could read a lot into this one.
One small thing that stuck out to me though...I enjoyed his little thoughts to himself, but every time your wrote "hum", I kept imagining he was humming to himself. "Hmm" has always seemed more appropriate to me for thoughts-but I think that's a personal preference.
Anyway, great writing!