Reviews for Forgotten
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
Isca chapter 1 . 8/16/2009
"And when you push me, I pray you catch me as the sundown disappears." I think it's the word "sundown" that makes this line so striking.

"Nightmares and train fares." Nice rhyming. Stunning pairing: fear and monotony.
in theory chapter 1 . 8/16/2009
You have such an ease in your words, a strong sense of purpose in the storytelling but still wrapped in enough beautiful metaphor.

Thanks for your kind review :)

Keree chapter 1 . 8/7/2009
That poem really gets to me... like I've experinced something so much like it... but I don't know...
Orange Oxymoron chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
It's moving imagery, but it's not too strong. Excellent.
Lunar Skylark chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
Amazing. I liked the raw emotion that came out of the words. Every time I re-read it, I got different bits and pieces of the story that I didn't process before. Great poem.
StarlightWish17 chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
Wow! That's all I can say. WOW! :D

I would quote you but I would pretty much be quoting the entire poem.

Love it.


WOW! Lol! xD
the-ever-changing-name chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
great job! this was very well done!
irish-ileana chapter 1 . 7/1/2009

This is really intense. I love the florescent phantom, that "No one forgets how to breathe."

TheOneYouSearchFor chapter 1 . 6/2/2009
This poem creates lovely images in my mind. In the beginning, you say that the memories "flood the sky," and the image I got was the light of the sun "flooding" the sky. So the ending where the "sundown disappears" is a fulfilling and satisfying conclusion.

I especially like the parallelism in the lines "No one forgets how to breathe" and "Do you remember how to breathe?"

Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
Absolutely amazing! The imagery you used in this had pictures painted in my mind and I could feel what the main character feels. I loved the lines, "Do you remember how to breathe?

Your lips bleed the oxygen I need." and

"and when you push me-

I pray you catch me

as the sundown disappears."

Just wonderfully written. Enjoyable to read. :)

Adding to my Favorites