Love it

I loved the ending! He was perfect for her aside from one thing, and that made it really funny! Anyways...great oneshot and I hope you write more like it :)

I just wrote a whole review on my phone and it disappeared, sucks really.

There's something missing in this. I can't say where or why but I just know theres something missing.

I liked how the relationship is just based on a few hours between the pair.

You've just created something and it was good.

But you re read this and see how you can make this extremely good.

This piece is adorable! I love how you took your time setting the pace. :)

Loved loved loved the ending! Made me smile for ages:)

love the fact that his name's John!

I really liked reading this oneshot, and I think it should stay a oneshot, even though I'm dying of curiosity what her reaction to his name is. I think it's just a funny twist of irony, the ending. They'll get together and she'll tell him the story behind her approach and they'll probably laugh about it. :] Wonderful.

Lol, loved the ending

Love the ending! It was sorta expected and yet not expected at the same time. The protagonist was likably obsessed. Keep it up!

I fell for the irony in this, and love it just how it is.

This is great! I think the ending is just right as-is, I wouldn't add anything more. Part of good writing is knowing when to stop, and I think adding more would sort of ruin the magic a bit.

I really felt like I knew this girl, in that she was the kind of girl who let her imagination get the better of her, who got WAY too invested in a guy on the first meeting, etc. You did a good job of making a character that isn't necessarily likable still the kind of person we want to read about. (I kind of got a little bit of a "poser" vibe from her. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's the Da Vinci Code reference, as a previous commenter mentioned.)

This is so cute. I adore the ending! I am glad his name wasn't Toby though; partially because it would be a bit too convenient and partly because the only Tobias I know isn't somebody that's pretty to picture. Yeah. LOL. But it was hilarious and I love the idea of the MC walking around whispering his name under her breath. Like I said, I adored the ending. I personally think this is just perfect as a one-shot. The ironic end is just that, an end. )

Cassandra

I love your one-shots! Did I ever tell you that? Thanks for replying to my review so quickly - and sorry I couldn't do the same! I loved the twist at the end of this one-shot, and couldn't help but laugh out loud. Oh! And I caught the allusion of the Minnie Mouse watch of the girl - it's like how the main guy from The Da Vinci Code had a Mickey Mouse watch! The Da Vinci code is one of my favorite books as well :D

Just wondering.. Did you leave the main girl nameless on purpose, or did I miss the part where her name is introduced?

And you've done it agan...yay beloved Chicago :P

wow. this is so well written and even though it was short, i got very involved with the story! this is pretty much my ideal guy, you've got me hooked neon scribe. write more!