Reviews for Tracking Down Toby
chipolata chapter 1 . 2/11/2014
Love it
Zaina Anastacia chapter 1 . 7/1/2011
I loved the ending! He was perfect for her aside from one thing, and that made it really funny! Anyways...great oneshot and I hope you write more like it :)
non.graceful chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
I just wrote a whole review on my phone and it disappeared, sucks really.

There's something missing in this. I can't say where or why but I just know theres something missing.

I liked how the relationship is just based on a few hours between the pair.

You've just created something and it was good.

But you re read this and see how you can make this extremely good.
Pione chapter 1 . 3/8/2011
This piece is adorable! I love how you took your time setting the pace. :)
Hellogoodbye chapter 1 . 2/17/2011
Loved loved loved the ending! Made me smile for ages:)
daydee chapter 1 . 1/7/2011
love the fact that his name's John!
liv-star chapter 1 . 12/30/2010
I really liked reading this oneshot, and I think it should stay a oneshot, even though I'm dying of curiosity what her reaction to his name is. I think it's just a funny twist of irony, the ending. They'll get together and she'll tell him the story behind her approach and they'll probably laugh about it. :] Wonderful.
Becca2012 chapter 1 . 4/7/2010
Lol, loved the ending
Aiko chapter 1 . 2/13/2010
Love the ending! It was sorta expected and yet not expected at the same time. The protagonist was likably obsessed. Keep it up!
Arastel chapter 1 . 2/2/2010
I fell for the irony in this, and love it just how it is.
Mo-Q chapter 1 . 10/17/2009
This is great! I think the ending is just right as-is, I wouldn't add anything more. Part of good writing is knowing when to stop, and I think adding more would sort of ruin the magic a bit.

I really felt like I knew this girl, in that she was the kind of girl who let her imagination get the better of her, who got WAY too invested in a guy on the first meeting, etc. You did a good job of making a character that isn't necessarily likable still the kind of person we want to read about. (I kind of got a little bit of a "poser" vibe from her. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's the Da Vinci Code reference, as a previous commenter mentioned.)
CassandraStacy chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
This is so cute. I adore the ending! I am glad his name wasn't Toby though; partially because it would be a bit too convenient and partly because the only Tobias I know isn't somebody that's pretty to picture. Yeah. LOL. But it was hilarious and I love the idea of the MC walking around whispering his name under her breath. Like I said, I adored the ending. I personally think this is just perfect as a one-shot. The ironic end is just that, an end. )

productioncity chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
I love your one-shots! Did I ever tell you that? Thanks for replying to my review so quickly - and sorry I couldn't do the same! I loved the twist at the end of this one-shot, and couldn't help but laugh out loud. Oh! And I caught the allusion of the Minnie Mouse watch of the girl - it's like how the main guy from The Da Vinci Code had a Mickey Mouse watch! The Da Vinci code is one of my favorite books as well :D

Just wondering.. Did you leave the main girl nameless on purpose, or did I miss the part where her name is introduced?
natmarie chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
And you've done it agan...yay beloved Chicago :P
percy chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
wow. this is so well written and even though it was short, i got very involved with the story! this is pretty much my ideal guy, you've got me hooked neon scribe. write more!
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