|Reviews for FML|
| hurrybee chapter 1 . 11/8/2009
" Well you dont look like..." Should be "Well you..." Don't have a space between the opening speech marks and the first word.
DONT should be DON'T [ABBREVIATION OF 'DO NOT', SO NEEDS AN APOSTROPHE].
DIDNT should be DIDN'T [ABBREVIATION OF 'DID NOT'].
WOULDNT should be WOULDN'T [ABBREVIATION OF 'WOULD NOT'].
WASNT should be WASN'T.
ALCHOHOL should be ALCOHOL.
" No , not grumpy at all..." Delete space between first speech marks and first word, and between first word and comma. i.e., it should be "No, not grumpy at all..."
'last night had been my first "official"...' 'last night' should be 'Last night' [capital letter] as it follows a question mark and so is the start of a new sentence.
COLLAGE should be COLLEGE.
COLLAGE PICTURE MADE OF CUT-AND-STUCK BITS OF MATERIAL, ETC.
"Shut up Page..." PAGE should be PAIGE, I think... (Normally, 'Paige' is a name and 'page' is a sheet-of-paper-page).
"she sized up all the guys as they passed ." Capital 's' on 'She'. Delete space between last word and full stop.
"...Your worse than a guy sometimes..." YOUR should be YOU'RE [ABBREVIATION OF 'YOU ARE'. YOUR BELONGING TO YOU; YOU'RE YOU ARE].
Your friend's writing shows potential, and the idea is good, but there are just SO many mistakes! (Like saying 'barley' [CROP] instead of 'barely' [HARDLY], and 'soem' instead of 'some', and 'probobly' instead of 'probably'.) If they're just typos, and your friend actually put in the apostrophes and didn't spell things wrong, then ignore the apostrophe advice, lol. But seriously, proof-read all chapters and it will be so much easier to read! Hope that helps.
| xxcinnamonxx chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
can you update soon?