Reviews for Cold and Dark
Lost in A World of Pain chapter 1 . 2/8/2010
Something that is dark and relatable to! :D This is good because it's a nice variation on the way in which people think about life being a mere play. I wrote something along those lines once but enjoy the fact that you only show the fact that a mask is being put up at the end of the poem. So many people forget that often what is being displayed by one is merely what they want to be seen, the true self being hidden to the real world. My only form of criticism (sorry) is the line where you say "yet she is seen, her shell is seen." Maybe the use of the word "seen" could be replaced with a synonym to that word. But, if that's what you indended the ignore the comment. A good poem, I really liked it :D
sisvamp7 chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
This is a beautiful poem. You said that your mom and your brother and 2 friends give you inspiration? well, i think this one flows from your heart. my favorite thing about it is that you don't know who she is. i give it a thumbs up! :)
paytonpage chapter 1 . 8/16/2009
Wow, your a great writer ;) I loved this poem, it kinda reminded me of me. In a sense , because of the way that you were describing people thinking that she was a bitch, her jokes being dry and mean, about people pushing her away and how they cant accept the true her, so again she raises the mask to her face. It's brilant : ) you really know how to speak to people through your work , and thats hard as hell to do these days! its a gift and you've got it :D
MyCookiesNotYours chapter 1 . 8/16/2009
Uh... I like it.

I always say the wrong words, but here's a few more for you.
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
Pretty glum and melancholy. I really felt the horrors of that girl. We all wear mask, don't we? Wise words, that. The style felt a trifle bit too cold, though. Yeah, I know- that's the theme- cold, distant seclusion within the steaming pot of our own psyche. Still, could use a little bit more passion- just to show the speaker actually cares about the coldness. But there was something touching about that horrid coldness of the style, so I suppose you did achieve some effect. Her Shell is seen. Cold and Dark- I really liked the line. We are seen as shells, cold and dark. Moving. Keep up keeping up(the appearance?). ;)
SubtlePoison chapter 1 . 7/29/2009
argh. i can relate. i'm very quiet (until some jerk pisses me off, and then they get their ass kicked) but people are sorta scared of me... but i don't mind cuz it's funny to watch them eye me warily.
Ingrid Indigo chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
This made sense to me. I really liked it. :)

Though, I advise one little thing: Either make the poems deep, or rhymish, both makes it confusing. Like at the beginning.

3.5/5. (notice its over average)

:D
LyricsArePoetry chapter 1 . 6/2/2009
This is really good. It's so horrible how judgmental people are!