|Reviews for The Rabbit Hole|
| Alyson chapter 14 . 1/13/2014
I am in love with this story! It actually feels like I'm reading a real book. You are a fantastic writer! Great job! :3
| anetehftw chapter 1 . 1/2/2014
Oh my fucjbanasnafkj hahaha! :D I don't know why but I LLLOOOOVE this story...so much! Woohoo woohoo... Maybe because it perfectly fits my taste. THIS kind of fantasy, THIS kind of romance, THIS kind of adventure. :D You do need to proofread or fix the typos maybe. Hehe, that'd make the story more enjoyable. I love the ending, although Butterfly and Jericho's pierced my heart just a bit. XD But it gave me a feeling like even though Jericho didn't remember her, he somehow still loved her. 3 3 This is your first story I read, gotta check the others. ;) Love you, have a nice day
| Alex J. Carter chapter 1 . 10/19/2013
Very interesting prologue. Love the riddle. I am very fasinated my the whole "Alice in Wonderland" story. Which is ironic with the new showing starting this month, "Once Upon a Time in Wonderland". Hope I can keep your work of art seperate from the show in my mind.
| Salma chapter 1 . 8/2/2013
This is my fourth time reading this book. Everytime I speak of books this one hits and I talk and rave about it so much I get myself back to reading it, thanks Penelope.
| Sneha903 chapter 1 . 6/23/2013
Type your review for this chapter here...
| Fiery Dancer chapter 27 . 6/10/2013
Such a good story - some spelling mistakes ;) - but a great story! I particularly liked the interaction between butterfly and Jericho
| Wickey chapter 28 . 6/3/2013
Thank you for writing this story, I love it, and thank you for giving it a happy ending!
| Hannah chapter 27 . 6/1/2013
I… am completely lost. I really liked the story and how there were Alice in Wonderland references. The characters and plot were well developed and any spelling/grammar issues just seemed like typos. But this epiloque just lost me. I am completely confused right now. Really liked the story, though.
| Heartless-Creature chapter 2 . 5/23/2013
Well already I'm liking this story and amused by Grey. So happy I found this on this SKOW site!
| Terras1fan-inactive chapter 27 . 4/17/2013
Oh God. Jericho isn't dead?
Damn. I don't know how I feel about that. Then again, I don't want Butterfly alone for... eternity. Endings should have a bitter sweet taste sometimes. Makes them appear more realistic to me.
Anyways, I do love the story. Intriguing plot line, though I am hazy on how the whole special energy ball (which name escapes me and I'm too damn lazy to go back and find) was supposed to work. Why was it made? And what possible use could it serve other than doing what Lucifer wanted? Did God make it? If so, how'd it end up on earth?
Overall, the story progressed nicely. It was slow, not rushed, and though a bit cliche with the whole we-hate-and-fight-so-much-that-we-must-love-each-o ther but it was well done. Characters were well developed. The plot line was unique and creative.
If I was to have a beef with the story, I would complain that there were uncertainties regarding the relationship between Grey and Alice in the end for me. She hates him, then she has sex and loves him, and then she hates him, and then is back in love with him. Maybe if you slowed down the pace and added a chapter between the Gabriel tactic of dividing the group by having a Mimic pretend to be her dead father? I mean, that whole action seemed relatively unnecessary in the long run and could have been removed. It really served no purpose to me other than to mention Grey's bad history.
I do love that the story is not just some romance where the girl is an idiot. She's smart, and she does in this mythical world possess some special power that is long hidden or obtain a special ability magically during the story. I would have raged for so long if Alice had become an Immortal or something like that. I like her normality, though I do find the whole innocent virgin a bit tiring as a cliche. Once again though, she was a well formed character, so I'll let you keep your cliche without me complaining about it.
It's hard to be annoyed when you have real characters on pages who talk and you immediately connect with. You seriously have skills in the dialogue department. I find the conversations just sound fluid and normal. It's very hard to capture that. However, as a trend, authors who are very good at that tend to have problems with clarity in writing.
What I mean is . . there were times where I was confused where the characters were location wise, how much time had passed, who was saying the clever quote, and where x character was walking to. If you are reading and suddenly get very lost, it can take a reader out of the narrative and then you have to go back, reread and figure it out.
Lastly, you mentioned this on the first chapter, so you know it already. But seriously, typos. Type in a word doc file! Spell checker will catch things like: "durring." (:
Anyways, I feel like I've praised you and criticized somewhat equally. Hope you continue to write.
| Terras1fan-inactive chapter 17 . 4/17/2013
I don't normally review completed stories mid-reading, but I have to say the following:
"You sound different?"
"I do?" Alice asked.
"Yeah, you sound not like a virgin."
At that moment I knew I loved Alastor more than anything. May I keep him?
In all seriousness, I love your characters. They are really well developed. I feel like I'd be **hard pressed** to find a secondary character who slightly resembled a Mary Sue. So job well done there.
| makemebreakme555 chapter 7 . 4/7/2013
Hahahahaha I just have to point out and mention that Alice being high is one of the funniest things I've ever read! You played it off so well, her blabbing was hilarious and my favorite part was when she said "No, I always sound like this. I just dumb it down for people like you." Epic! I feel so bad for Butterfly and Jericho, but I do enjoy you including them in this story, it's a cute side story. Love love LOVE you way of writing. Truly an amazing piece :)
| Nocturnal-Silver-Wolf chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
| HeadOverHeelsInHate chapter 28 . 2/17/2013
Awww! That was really cute and well written! I love Grey and Alice! The ending between Butterfly and Jericho kinda confused me though. If he doesn't know her how does he know that he loves her? In my opinion it would have made more sense if before he responded you said something like 'his heart twinged in recognition' or 'a sense of peace and familiarity flooded his senses' or something. Anyways, awesome stor!
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/16/2013
I don’t know how to review properly so please bear with me :D
First, I really enjoyed reading your version of Alice in wonderland,(let me tell you I haven’t read my penguin’s copy until now but I’ve seen the movie)
The first half or maybe two thirds was totally engaging, I was laughing at Alice’s quirkiness the whole time and I enjoyed their bantering.
And grey’s devil-may-care attitude is totally swoon worthy(his looks was just a plus ;p)
I like the idea that you incorporated forbidden love between Butterfly and Jericho, but you should have elaborated the tainted and the ancient world more, because to be honest I was totally confused. And you also said Grey’s just like human, but how did he become part of the division (since you mentioned that “the division” was a group of ancient), so his father was ancient too? Or maybe you did mention who was his father, did I miss it?
I don’t have a problem with you changing POV’s since it was nice to know what’s on their mind, but the misspelled spelling was totally affecting your grammar and I had a lot of hard time understanding what you were trying to say. Also the remaining one third was a bit dragging and kinda boring, in an instant you changed Alice’s spitfire persona to a tamer one…
Despite its flaws(hoping you’d take a look at this and try to edit/revise), I would love to buy if this ever get published :)