Reviews for The Rabbit Hole
makemebreakme555 chapter 7 . 4/7/2013
Hahahahaha I just have to point out and mention that Alice being high is one of the funniest things I've ever read! You played it off so well, her blabbing was hilarious and my favorite part was when she said "No, I always sound like this. I just dumb it down for people like you." Epic! I feel so bad for Butterfly and Jericho, but I do enjoy you including them in this story, it's a cute side story. Love love LOVE you way of writing. Truly an amazing piece :)
Nocturnal-Silver-Wolf chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
Another Jack?
HeadOverHeelsInHate chapter 28 . 2/17/2013
Awww! That was really cute and well written! I love Grey and Alice! The ending between Butterfly and Jericho kinda confused me though. If he doesn't know her how does he know that he loves her? In my opinion it would have made more sense if before he responded you said something like 'his heart twinged in recognition' or 'a sense of peace and familiarity flooded his senses' or something. Anyways, awesome stor!
Guest chapter 1 . 1/16/2013
I don’t know how to review properly so please bear with me :D

First, I really enjoyed reading your version of Alice in wonderland,(let me tell you I haven’t read my penguin’s copy until now but I’ve seen the movie)
The first half or maybe two thirds was totally engaging, I was laughing at Alice’s quirkiness the whole time and I enjoyed their bantering.
And grey’s devil-may-care attitude is totally swoon worthy(his looks was just a plus ;p)
I like the idea that you incorporated forbidden love between Butterfly and Jericho, but you should have elaborated the tainted and the ancient world more, because to be honest I was totally confused. And you also said Grey’s just like human, but how did he become part of the division (since you mentioned that “the division” was a group of ancient), so his father was ancient too? Or maybe you did mention who was his father, did I miss it?

I don’t have a problem with you changing POV’s since it was nice to know what’s on their mind, but the misspelled spelling was totally affecting your grammar and I had a lot of hard time understanding what you were trying to say. Also the remaining one third was a bit dragging and kinda boring, in an instant you changed Alice’s spitfire persona to a tamer one…

Despite its flaws(hoping you’d take a look at this and try to edit/revise), I would love to buy if this ever get published :)

Ms.Jennylautner chapter 28 . 12/28/2012
Okay so I finished it ! And... I'm speechless . Best story ever ! I'm amazed on how you came up with these things ? Your imagination is so big and unique You're a true genius ! This book is the best I've ever read . I really mean it ! I've probably have said this to a lot of other stories but .. Hands down ! This story is officially my fave of all time It has everything I like to read . The characters were truly brilliant ! Grey was so swoon worthy , Alice was adorable and funny , Jericho was wise and such a good angel , butterfly was so sweet, even the bad guys were lovable . I can't wait to read more stories written by you . You're so talented it makes me jealous . Lol , I hope you and your talent go far and I can't wait to hear about you and your books if you decide to get published . I'll definetly buy this :D so yeah I just probably stop rambling now . Thanks a bunch for writing this and letting people like me enjoy it !
Ms.Jennylautner chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
Soooo.. I read some of your reviews and this story sounds awesome ! I can't wait to start reading it :D
Saenka chapter 28 . 12/21/2012
It's original, fun, full of great and very likeable characters.
It was a great reading that I could not let go and I just feel sorry that it is over.
Thank you so much for that amazing story !
Guest chapter 28 . 12/10/2012
This story is SO incredibly amazing and seriously one of the most well-written stories on fictionpress. I literally thought I was reading an actual published book for most of the time! This story is so smart, suspenseful, and a real page turner. I absolutely loved the characters and that Alice is just too hilarious. There were several times when I actually laughed out loud from the stuff that came out of her mouth. I loved her so much and it was quite awesome because my name is also Alice HAHA.

I haven't read a really really good fictionpress story in a very long time so I am so happy that I found this. I hope you continue writing stories because it's obvious that you have so much talent!
HajariSheep chapter 28 . 12/9/2012
Possibly the most well-written story I've ever read on FP! Loved it!
Kikinii chapter 2 . 12/2/2012
Amazingly intriguing beginning chapter.
LehCarXRachel chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
Dear Penelope,
I have fallen in love with you.
I love your writing, your stories, your characters GAHHHHHHHHH
You have no idea how much I LOVE THIS STORY.
This story is HILARIOUS but so freaking well thought out, there's so much to the plot and I love how everything connects together guh this story is fantastic 3

I love Alice,Grey,Butterfly,Jericho,Gabriel,Alaster,Naomi omg, all of your characters are so funny LOL.
The way you write is hilarious but you also do a good job of making scenes dramatic.
This story is a A for me.
Probably my favorite story on FP :)

Please continue to write!
The Rabbit Hole deserves a bajillion favorites & reviews I LOVE THIS STORY.
InkWitch chapter 3 . 11/21/2012
Ok, the whole POV switching thing is getting to me a bit.
InkWitch chapter 2 . 11/21/2012
I think I would have preferred if you didn't keep switching between POVs maybe you can change that if you ever edit this.

But other than that, good writing, lovely dialogue and gorgeous outline. Can't wait to finish this.
Guest chapter 5 . 11/5/2012
i love this, this is the best story I've read in awhile!
F.H.W chapter 27 . 10/31/2012
This is one awesome version of 'Alice in Wonderland' hahaha:) Loved the story. Couldnt stop reading hahaha. So many unexpected twists and really reaistic characters:)
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