|Reviews for Chap 4: Don't Change|
| EstrelyaSpica chapter 4 . 7/11/2009
It kinda reminds me of a show...
| EstrelyaSpica chapter 3 . 6/27/2009
Aahh the guy is sweet
he showed how much he love the girl
Nice poem (_)
keep it up
| Isca chapter 1 . 6/7/2009
In the third line, you're missing the word 'has' and it should go between 'heart' and 'been.' I'm not sure if the spacing is effective-you might want to close the gap between the two stanzas and make this one, long stanza-it would help the poem flow more that way.
The line, "I will love you, even at the end of my life," is quite emotional and moving-the loyalty here is sorrowful, yet beautiful. :)
Keep up the good work,
(The Review Game - Poems - Easy Fix)
| kyox88 chapter 2 . 6/7/2009
Remembering the past, remembering you
Remembering the ocean blue.
This line sounds so nice! so Swet! i love this onereally i donice jobkudos!
| EstrelyaSpica chapter 1 . 6/7/2009
You indeed right it freely..
There are some breakage..
I should I explain it..
The cuttings seems right or something is missing
But, at least your feelings on it...
It was sweet and sour
Keep it up
| LittleLoser.AndRoloLamperouge chapter 2 . 6/7/2009
...kyaa...I've never been in love...but this clearly means something to me...lol
| Grains and Oats chapter 1 . 6/5/2009
I agree with the other review, the stars between the stanzas make the flow completely stop. Right now, it looks more like they're all separate little poems.
Besides the stars, the flow seemed fairly consistent. There were a few places where it was almost lost, but nothing too major.
"Our love been swept by the wind"
This line seems a little strange-sounding to me. Maybe there's a word missing or some grammatical error?
"I am here waiting for you,
The love that I found a long time ago
Remembering the past, remembering you,
Remembering the ocean blue."
I'd have to say this was my least favourite stanza. Everything was fine and dandy till you threw in how you're remembering things and made just the two lines rhyme. It didn't really fit with the rest of the poem, but that's just my opinion.
Overall, it was a good piece. Keep writing.
| ArekuKawaii chapter 1 . 6/4/2009
I liked the story line because it was quite simple and sweet. The imagery made it sound more sweet, because they were soft images.
I didn't like the stars to break it up. That lost the flow a little for me and was a distractor. When the poem is in a document you should press shift and enter to create a single spaced line.