Reviews for Deep Embrace
laughtillyourstomachhurts chapter 3 . 2/3/2012
Last Wish chapter 2 . 11/14/2011
what story made you have the epiphany? Do share! :(
kelsi chapter 2 . 7/31/2011
plz update :) im so interested in this story! it would be a shame if you didnt finsih! :(
lacry91 chapter 1 . 7/28/2011
ahhhhh, just when I had a few more chapters and almost finished it! DX it's a great story, I love how everything flows! xD

I hope you'll finish editing it soon! xD also, I hope you'll repost the other stories that were here, I read the plot for one which said something about taking care of an.. octopus? which turned into a guy... and I REALLY wanted to read it after I finish with Deep Embrace.. I was really sad when I saw that you took it down :(
Callisto205 chapter 63 . 7/19/2011

I saw at the bottom of one of your chapter’s that you wanted our honest opinion about this story so I thought I would give it a shot.

First of all I do like this story a lot. The idea intrigued me very much that it was a more vicious tale of mermaids than the one Disney provided us with. I really do like the first few chapters because of how you had written Nereus as this wild, vicious, sea creature that tries to “kill” her when she saves him. This is mostly the reason why I decided to undertake a 60 chapter long story.

I was disappointed though that Nereus seemed to do a complete 360 in the story. Where as in the beginning of it he was wild and animalistic towards the end he turned into this romance novel character. I know as Sedena and Nereus grew closer their attitudes would change but he doesn’t seem like the same person you met at the beginning of the story who swallowed Ashley whole as a bargaining chip.

Also Sedena was a little exhausting at some points. I know she is conflicted over having feelings towards the fish man but it seemed like she either really liked him or wanted nothing to do with him. One chapter ended with them kissing and saying they would never let go of each other and then a few chapters later she was done with him or Casmir would show up and she would be with him. It also really bothered me that Sedena seemed fine with how Nereus dealt with Casmir’s family. To me this wasn’t realistic that it didn’t bother Sedena as much as it bothered me as a reader. I don’t think anyone else would be as agreeable knowing that someone has been sold into slavery or killed especially since Sedena is from our time period. Nereus, I understand for being okay with it because of how old he is but not Sedena who you also portray as a slight feminist in the story. This just seems to completely go against character and the same can be said for when Sedena knew that they are going to kill Casmir and went out with him as a last hoorah. It just doesn’t make sense, even if she is powerless to stop it.

Also I think I skipped over half of the chapters of Casmir in the beginning because to me his story didn’t seem important. It wasn’t until the end that his character went crazy with revenge that I started paying attention to what he was doing.

Also there was no point in them going to Venice because nothing happened in Venice. To me you could have replaced Venice with New York or the beach house and you wouldn’t be able to tell a difference. Basically if you change a characters scenery to such an iconic place, especially one where it you could have so much fun with ocean people/mermaids then you should take full advantage of it and of the city.

Please understand this is not a flame or me just being mean, I really do like this story and read it all the way to the end in three days. I love the world you created and all of the characters. The relationships are complicated, as they should be with different species dating and I like that it wasn’t just a straight to the point happy ending. I think once you edit some of the characters and details in the story, Deep Embrace will be amazing!

I hope this helps and like I said I really do like this story and I’m very much looking forward to the sequel!
CaBlasch87 chapter 63 . 7/18/2011
love it
TheRiverRunsDeep chapter 63 . 7/17/2011
I am very interested now!
Creatures chapter 62 . 7/12/2011
This story was like omgah :O it was good and funny and at time completely grossed me out (When Ashley was eaten, totally freaked me out) but seriously I loved it.
Terra Nova chapter 11 . 7/11/2011
Hahahaha, I feel special. My name is Ashley XoDD But I would never kiss a girl, as I am a straight girl. I like how you use the name as a dude instead. And Casimir is the good merman, right? I'd guess so.
Kristabby chapter 62 . 7/9/2011
Awesome story..I really enjoyed it. I hope you are planning on making a sequel because I really want to know if she got changed back to normal:(. Keep up the good work!
Courtney.Cullen13 chapter 62 . 7/7/2011
I really loved this story. I just didn't think that it ended with many questions answered. I would really love it if you wrote a sequel and if u don't write it on this site can u please tell me where. Thanks I absolutely loved it it was a great read.
Nukumi chapter 62 . 7/5/2011
Okay, I read the whole thing starting last week, so I never saw the original version, but I have things to say :) 1. This is the longest Ofic I've ever read (I usually read fanfiction) 2. I really like that you stayed away from stereotypical mermaids and instead grounded the lore and gave some basis to their mythology. 3. Somehow, I knew right from the beginning that Nereus was the 'bad guy', but I'd never expected the twist in Casmir becoming bitter and turning against Sedna. 4. I like Lir, he rocks. Kinda reminds me of Roiben from the book Tithe 5. There were times I wished Sedna would chill out. 6. Did not care for Ashely. At all. 7. I liked how at times we couldn't be sure if Nereus is evil or not. 8. I actually hope Nereus can fix Sedna, it kind of makes me sad how in most fantasy stories where one main charrie isn't human the other has to switch so they can stay together. I'd really like to see someone make a humanxNonhuman relationship work without transformations. 9. Even though I occasionally skipped over some information like grandma-centric paragraphs, I appreciate the detail you've put into this story, even though the typos sometimes threw me off.

I think that's mostly all of my comments. I'll patiently wait for your other stories to be revised too so I can read these in the order you made them to go in :)
Llyly chapter 62 . 7/4/2011
Not going to lie -I did skip a bunch of the Casimir only chapters. I don't know why, he just came off as an incurable creep. I did like how you made everything work for the characters, though. I especially love the banter between Nereus and Sedna.

Thank you for finishing such an amazing story, and I really, really am looking forward to the sequel.
Spazthemagicbeanstalk chapter 62 . 7/3/2011
Where are you going to post the sequel, cause i know you're not gonna leave us hanging like that, right? I wanna know what happens! Honestly i would be totally happy if you posted it here...
BoundaryBreaker chapter 62 . 7/3/2011
Is it seriously over? I'm upset. I mean, don't get me wrong, this is one of the best stories I've ever read, no matter how confused I was, no matter how long it was, no matter the fact that it's not a paperback or hardback book in my hands. It was absolutely freaking amazing. But is this the end? Like, are you going to do Epilogue part two? Haha that'd be stupid. Or are you writing a sequel, and if not on this site, where, because I really want to read it!
1,194 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 5 12 .. Last Next »