|Reviews for make your move|
| Written chapter 2 . 11/10/2009
wow, powerful lines here, the "stomp" part, the everything. the visuals are awesome, you can really see this girl, and I also love this line:
"inhale smoke, exhale poetry"
i love it. and the end is so bitter, so... sad.
| Isca chapter 9 . 11/8/2009
"And I saw what they did with it, saw them eat it." Brilliant. I love the idea that love is cannibalistic.
| Isca chapter 8 . 11/8/2009
"But all we succeeded in doing was tearing apart ourselves." Wow. I love this line - it's so mind-blowing. :D
| Isca chapter 7 . 10/28/2009
"Soft hair that I touched once when you were asleep." I really like this line - it's refreshing to see the speaker's subtle 'deviant' behaviour.
"You put on your sex-appeal like a Halloween mask." Cool simile.
| Written chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
wow, this was an amazing poem. I LOVE the ideas in it, the use of metaphor, the metaphor about metaphor, the amazing visuals, and everything. hands down, awesome. i don't read or write much poetry anymore, but this is inspiring!
| Isca chapter 6 . 8/27/2009
The 'you tie her hands' stanza was AMAZING. The death imagery, the music playing in the background, the things this other person doesn't understand, I mean honestly, it's all so FASCINATING. :D
P.S. The "caramelized popularity" part was a nice touch.
| Isca chapter 5 . 7/9/2009
"Where girls take matters into their own hands." This line is infused with realism and modernity. Very nice. :)
"Divising ways to tear apart the universe and cultivate its bones." Brilliant line. Men, in this sense, become people who seek to gain power over all things-how very patriarchal. The 'bones' part reminded me of the biblical creation story (i.e. eve is made from adam's rib).
| bipedalcooney chapter 2 . 7/4/2009
An interesting take on life. Great imagery and tone. Each line has its own power. Awesome work, keep writing.
| bipedalcooney chapter 1 . 7/4/2009
Really beautifully written. You're nature and weather references are not only eloquent, but simply well placed. There is a good balance between emotion and imagery, and they reflect each other perfectly. Seems like a simple enough task in poetry, but not many people cannot balance them (there's usually more of one than the other, and their message is skewed because of it). I really liked this a lot, you're a good writer. Keep it up.
| Isca chapter 1 . 6/15/2009
"You can't understand the words I whisper." It's sad to think that many people are afraid of poetry because they feel like it's 'beyond' them. The irony at the end is cute-obviously, the man is going to have to get over his fear of poetry if he's going to love a poetess.