It's a pretty good story. It's probably best to update the story that gets the most reviews and/or hits. If you spread yourself too thin then all your stories will suffer. Is Lilly an agent of the king or something?

~SirScott

I have to say that I am not a huge fan of vastly varying chapter lengths. But this is a really great story. A couple of points:

I feel like you definitely could have combined the third and fourth chapters into a single chapter with a break. And aww that was very sweet about what she did for Nona last chapter )

I really like this Una girl. I think it's great that she isn't a sword fighting prodigy, though she sounds very good. I don't know, your characters seem real somehow, though they're also very mysterious. I love the balance.

Anywho, write more soon! Please consider taking out the author's note (a good reader could pick up on that the setting is Earth with fantasy elements added. It makes it much better if you don't tell us!)

-Frost

Hmm, that was weird! I must say that I really love your writing style in the second chapter. The first chapter was quite short, however. And I was wondering if red shirts and jean cutoffs can really be considered a uniform?

Anyways, I like how you drop hints about the characters and the world they are in. I especially love Kale and how eyes were cold even as he smiled and told her she had an admirer. Jealous maybe?

Again I really enjoyed this. Hopefully though you'll consider taking out the repetition of the authors note at the end. It's better suited for being on your profile or something.

-Frost

Once again, you have managed to completely captivate me. The only thing is that your metaphor about the Holocaust should be two sentences. Keep writing!

This is good. I really want to know more about the world they live in. A little more detail about the Undead and what they are would be nice, but it's really good!