|Reviews for Power Trip|
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 44 . 9/14/2015
I need to go read Gavin's Story, but I wanted to type out a review and tell you truly how amazing this was. Your character arc for Breken was so. well. done.
So well done that it's amazing.
You made him very realistic, and you did the same with Gavin as well. Even just the general plot of this and how it built up from the confession and then the project deal... Ugh. So well done. "Masterfully crafted" is the phrase I'm looking for.
I'll begin Gavin's Story soon, so expect more reviews from me :-)
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 38 . 9/11/2015
THIS WAS SO SAD
I REALLY LIKED IT BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN SO WELL
BUT SO SAD
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 37 . 9/11/2015
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY CANT SPLIT UP NOOOOOOO
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 36 . 9/11/2015
Did NOT see this coming. At all. What a twist!
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 34 . 9/10/2015
Love it! This chapter was pretty funny, and I did not see Auden's news coming! I love her character, though!
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 33 . 9/10/2015
I love this. I love your sense of humor in the author's note, too!
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 30 . 9/8/2015
Literally the best erotic scene I've ever read.
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 29 . 9/8/2015
Another awesome chapter! Here are some comments:
[[He hovered menacingly over Gavin, and for the first time in my life I was torn between the instinct to punch this guy, or give him a high five. I wished I could've talked to Gavin like that. And follow through on it, most importantly.]]
[[And I was surprised by how eager I was to talk to this guy. Gavin frustrated me too!]]
I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE BONDING OVER THIS OHMYGOD. I love it. I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard!
Overall very well written conversation between Brecken and Madden. I especially love [[A silence fell, and then Madden turned a little reflective. "Well, I do owe him a lot," he said, talking through a fresh billow of smoke coming from his lungs. "He's always protected Mackay." The conversation seemed to lose all of its good-natured reminiscing as Madden spoke. His eyes, just seconds before open and beaming, were now hard and serious. "So I suppose I gotta protect him too."]]
[[Mackay beamed from beside his brother, giving me a simple wave. "Nice meeting you, Brecken," he said enthusiastically. "But if you hurt him, I'll kill you. So see you next time!"]]
This chapter is gold. Pure. Gold.
[[Gavin ignored me, grabbing the smoke right out of my mouth and breaking what was left of it in half; rather dramatically might I add.]]
This is a nice description, and I like how you worded it. I would suggest referring to the "smoke" as a cigarette, since you've previously made reference to the ACTUAL smoke that's produced... Does that make sense?
Ugh. That ending. Unf. Wonderful chapter, as always! Now onto the next!
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 28 . 9/5/2015
The ending... GOD DAMMIT!
I had a few comments for this chapter:
[[My heart – wild and out of control with the shock and adrenaline of narrowly escaping a disaster situation – skipped a beat in a sudden rush of affection. Fuck. I knew better than to make her worry.]]
YES! \o/ FINALLY, BRECKEN HAS A HEART!
[[The third time I looked at myself in the mirror that morning,]]
I'm a little confused. I thought it was like 3pm? You mention Brecken's parents taking an afternoon nap too lol
[[I marched down the stairs, taking them two at a time and pounded the door to the guest bedroom open.]]
I'm a little bit confused on your word choice here; "pounded" makes it seem like he knocks until the door opens. Which is strange, given how Gavin still appears to be on his bed. Is the door half-open and he's just giving a light punch?
[[I really liked painting his blank face with expressions that suited him a little more.]]
Ah I love this! There's such a wonderfully perfect contrast between these two characters.
Another great chapter. Onto the next!
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 26 . 9/4/2015
Another great chapter! Ah I love this story; it's a wonderful binge read lol.
There's just one little line that was a tiny bit confusing to me: [[If he knew he did this, I still wasn't sure.]]
I'm not really sure exactly what you're referring to with the word "this". I'm assuming it's Brecken's frustration!
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 25 . 9/4/2015
So amazing. Another wonderful chapter!
I just have to comment on a few bits; if you read the part where Gavin begs (very nicely, btw) and onward, there seems to be sentences that are totally incomplete. I'm not sure if this was intentional or not but I'd really like to know what the rest of those lines were! :o Other than that, I love this!
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 24 . 9/2/2015
What a great chapter! I love this story SO MUCH! I've been binge reading for the past few days. Your characterization is incredibly; I love Gavin and Audrey the most. Brecken is slowly getting better; I'm glad he's breaking away from his "friends". But anyway, such a wonderful chapter! Your writing (especially your erotica writing) is incredible.
| TheTeenageParadigm chapter 44 . 8/10/2015
Ah, this was perfection. Remorseful Brecken resonates deeply within me, and it's kinda hot. Maybe it's a kink, who knows? Anyway I'm so glad you continued this story. It really sticks to the reader, I think, what with such believable and complex characters like Brecken and Gavin. Definitely one of my favorite stories, though I admit I am a little sad to see it finished. But I'm off to continue Gavin's Story so I can get my fill of my wanton little emo! Impeccable job, as always!
| Ash135 chapter 44 . 8/4/2015
i want moreeeeeeeeeee! soooooooooo good!
| Kere chapter 44 . 8/1/2015
How did I not find this before?! It's awesome! I loved every part of this story! Your characters are so well written, every one of them stands out and is unique in his own way. And Brecken! Is such an asshole and still I loved him to no end! He's not the usual jock, he's so well rounded and with tons of personality. Congrats, you've got a lot of talent!