|Reviews for Contact|
| Xibalba Blooms chapter 5 . 9/22/2010
Wow. This was beautiful.
| WinnieP chapter 1 . 8/5/2010
What I really enjoyed about this piece was the way you introduced Ryan. The way you scattered details throughout - not just physical but the kind of person not only set up the character but in many ways furthered the plot or added some more depth.
I also really enjoyed the dialogue - very natural and flowing with even those awkward silences popping up which made it very easy to picture. I really liked the line "They were all tall thin men in dark suits." and on that note the paragraph about rain at funerals since they really deconstructed the tradditional idea of a funeral home.
Overall it was a really good first chapter and I'll be interested to read more.
| InkedSoul chapter 2 . 1/24/2010
I like the chapter. The beginning made me chuckle a bit and everything was well described, especially Ryan's character which was also portrayed really well. The dialogue between Ryan and Paige is fun to read and I seriously wonder how their relationship is going to develop. Nice so far (:
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 5 . 1/12/2010
That was beautiful - you did a really good job of developing the relationship between them, enough that I really cared about what happened and when I twigged what was actually happening, I felt really sad. You revealed the 'twist' really well, so that it wasn't too confusing. I really enjoyed it.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 2 . 1/10/2010
Great idea, very original. I'm really liking it so far, and love the building relationship between Paige and Ryan. They're two very well-written, well-rounded characters and I love the way they interact with each other - very believeable.
| InkedSoul chapter 1 . 1/2/2010
Lovely story so far, a bit of sadness in the first chapter but it's still something people can relate to a bit. Ryan is..an interesting character but I love how Paige is sophisticated and independent and doesn't let a guy like him ruin the wasy she acts a her job. I sense a little bit of liking between them (not rly sure this is a romance story though) but their feeling toward each other is a bit intriguing but interesting. Nice Job [:
| zombie chickens chapter 1 . 1/1/2010
It was your summary that caught my eye on this story, a very good way to introduce it and I love the fact that they're at a funeral. The dark, sarcastic tone of this first chapter really appeals to me as well and your descriptions are very well done. Good job.
| Palm Tree chapter 2 . 12/28/2009
It's been a while, but I was able to hop back on this fairly easiy. The opening scene of Ryan getting kicked out of his apartment was both pitiful and hilarious at the same time. Everything that happened before he encountered Paige a second time further built up his character and I can honestly day that I've grown to like him quite a good deal more after this chapter. I'm still just as fond of Paige and now wonder a little about Terry, that is, whether or not he'll be a recurring character. But, getting back to Ryan, he has an interesting thought process and I must say that throughout the chapter were examples of some astoundingly brilliant writing. I mean really. The whole thing with the letter "P"? Ingenious! And that was just one. This was a really good chapter and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 8]
Also, sort of on the side but not really, I like your chapter titles. ;D
| Mizzuz Spock chapter 5 . 12/18/2009
Aw! You made me cry! (Which, okay, I'll be honest. It isn't hard to make me cry. I mean, I'm over sensitive. Pixar movies make me cry!) But that's besides the point. xD
This is a beautiful story. Downright amazing. The relationship that developed between Paige and Ryan came to a very satisfying close. After that little twist, I had no idea what would happen on this last chapter, but the end definitely did not disappoint.
You deserve...a cake! Or...SOMETHING! This story is just all kinds of awesome. Seriously. You paint beautiful pictures with words. (That's my lame attempt at being poetic.)
This has got to be one of the best things I've come across on FP. Good job. :]
| Mizzuz Spock chapter 4 . 12/18/2009
OH, jeez. That's, like, an M. Night Shaymalan twist! Should've seen it comin'. But I didn't and that was a shocker. BAM!
Well, I liked it. I'm not complaining in the least. I think the twist was amazing and you pulled it off very nicely. The whole realization scene was wonderfully written, and there were a lot of lines that struck me as beautifully poetic.
Don't know if I like the Dibdin poem thrown in there in the end, as I felt it was a bit disruptive. But the poem's meaning reflected the situation perfectly and I think the ending of this chapter was downright depressing. But in a good way. (I'm terrible at explaining how I feel about things, I know... _ )
| xenolith chapter 5 . 12/14/2009
Beautiful. That's all I can say, really.
| xenolith chapter 4 . 12/14/2009
Did not see that comming at all. I should have known! Gar! Still, wonderfully executed. Am impressed.
| xenolith chapter 3 . 12/14/2009
I like your dialogue, how it's very snappy and easy to read. Wry, kinda, considering the characters. It's great. And realistic. I liked this:
“Pity. It’s been ages since I wanted to touch anybody.”
I don't have anything to offer concrit wise, but I think so far you've done a fantabulous job here. I'm really enjoying it :)
| Palm Tree chapter 1 . 12/9/2009
Your opening was really strong and that pulled me in instantly. Paige is cool. I have to say that I actually like her quite a bit even if that opinion is based on this chapter alone. In a way, because I was quickly annoyed by Ryan's lowlife qualities, I ended up focused on learning as much as I could about her and Ryan was right, she really is mysterious. 8] For me, it was easy to connect with her although, that said, I'm baffled as to why she'd agree to let him hang around at the end. Perhaps she has something planned. I'm not sure, and that's the big thing that's left me curious.
The whole perspective was rather distant and I'd possibly suggest incorporating more voice for Ryan, maybe to make him more sympathetic, but it was quick and easy to read. In addition, that distance may be a better fit for the story depending on the events that develop in future chapters so I can't be entirely sure as of now.
The events that played out were easy to visualize and, while not necessarily engaging on the surface, had me reading without pause. From that I conclude that I like your writing. XD Overall, it was a good first chapter that's left me with a good deal of things to wonder about in regards to the characters.
| Mizzuz Spock chapter 3 . 12/9/2009
I like this chapter. Paige is a great contrast to Ryan. And her story is far more complex, in my opinion. (Yet, aren't women like that?) The way she perceives Ryan is great. Once again, the interactions and dialoge fabulous.
The repetition of the tick, tick, tick was a great touch in the beginning.
I feel like such a horrible person because I did laugh at the fact Paige's brother was hit by an ambulance. (Not because it was ha-ha funny, understand. It was one of those you-kidding-me? kind of laughs.)
The little flashback there at the end was done extremely well. And it didn't last too long, though it had the potential to.
'Nother great chapter all around. :]