Reviews for Destined
josangely20.1991 chapter 36 . 2/22/2013
i enjoy it, update soon please
Knowledge is Power chapter 36 . 10/10/2009
good story
Lexy7432 chapter 36 . 10/7/2009
Wow, I thought he couldn't faint Lol, I can't wait to read the next chapter so that I can see his reaction 2 knowing he fainted.
Lexy7432 chapter 35 . 10/4/2009
This was kind of a comical chapter...he's confused, he hangs up on Rosa, yet Iaso keeps smiling and keeps saying 'He'll be here soon' lol maybe it's just me
Lexy7432 chapter 34 . 10/4/2009
Sweet :)
booboo chapter 9 . 9/30/2009
this sounds alot like true blood...except the whole dark and depressing theme...
xlii chapter 1 . 9/29/2009
This isn't the sort of thing I typically read, but you handle creating the desolate tone well and open and close this chapter very well: the first two and last three paragraphs are great. There's a good sense that the narrator is aware of time passing, but also that she isn't paying attention to it, drifting in and out of awareness, as it were.

I think the line, "Depression sucks!" underestimates your ability to create the tone.

Consider flipping slender and hard in the following sentence: "His slender hard body is still shaking from finding me."

i think it would read smoother as,

"His hard, slender body..."

Spelling - jesters should be gestures

paragraph 5 - hm... i didn't notice them move from bathroom to bedroom.

Spelling - the cuss "damn" is spelt so, whereas "dam" is a blockage or wall

Paragraph 6 - right at the end, consider: "...Daniel shook me awake."

"not that I look now, anything like I did then" comma splice.

Consider naming the narrator in this ch, unless she remains nameless throughout the story. it helps to attach the reader to your main character if they learn who they are as quickly as possible. You give us a solid picture of her physically and a concept of who she is as a person, but without a name I find myself empathizing with the people around her who have been named instead of the main character.

consider saving the description of teleportation for when she is first teleported. as it is, it feels like an interruption in a very emotional moment for the narrator.

You've done a good job of pulling the reader in, presenting questions without giving all the answers, and it sounds like you've taken your own approach to vampire mythos rather than adhering to existing legend.
xXTheGirlWithTheBrokenHeartXx chapter 33 . 9/26/2009
This story is absolutly fantastic! I love it! I could not stop reading it I read it all today. I cant wait to see what happens next.
Lexy7432 chapter 33 . 9/25/2009
Drama is about 2 happen eh?, can't wait 4 the next chapter
gert chapter 32 . 9/21/2009
Great chapter. Glad Ian is okay.

But busted by Aerik. Can't wait for

your next chapter.
Lexy7432 chapter 32 . 9/21/2009
OH BOY, I GUESS THERE IS NO COMPLETE LOVE STORY UNTIL THERE'S A LOVE TRIANGLE, LOL, UPDATE SOON
bela13 chapter 31 . 9/17/2009
i love your story just something with editing at least with the last 3 paragraphs you meved from thrid to first person ...
Lexy7432 chapter 30 . 9/16/2009
SO SWEET...I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER
colette.mclaughlin chapter 30 . 9/15/2009
Good chapter. only one thing... it's suite not "sweet". but otherwise good chapter. post soon!

Col
Teenyjewel chapter 30 . 9/15/2009
Very interesting. Can't wait until the next chapter.
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