|Reviews for Changehood|
| HasuHeart chapter 31 . 12/6/2010
can't wait to read on. Great way to end book 1
| HasuHeart chapter 9 . 12/6/2010
I hope that he can do other thing other then talk and control bugs...that would be so cool!
| HasuHeart chapter 7 . 12/6/2010
I love the story, but im not so sure that i like the controling bugs part, ugh bug XD
| Alicat05812 chapter 31 . 10/18/2010
I really like your story I have been reading it since I got home from school I hope you upload the new chapter soon.
| AndItMovesUsAll chapter 31 . 10/2/2010
I enjoyed reading this book, i think its quite unusual in terms of structure, because it doesnt have a beginning middle and end and is more like a story of his life, but it was interesting to read. I had a few issues with Patrick from the ages of 4 to about 8 because the way you wrote his thoughts was very mature and the way he and his friends spoke was too mature, for instance i think one of the girls said something profound about people assuming he acts with indifference, at the age of 7, which just doesnt seem realistic.
Also, though i love the village and change system you created, i would have liked to know more about it in the story. I found the this world interesting because they had things like televison, but you gave the impression that it was still quite an 'old fashioned' type of place. It both confused me and intrigued me because the villages seemed like small places and the idea of people living in such small settlementss but with such advanced things a telecommuniations is a littlevincomprihensible to me. Although obviously this is a fantasy book so its not goign to follow the rules of our world, but i would have liked their culture and history to hae come across a little more.
But im interested toread on, Patrick is ones of the most interesting characters that ive come across in a while. I never know what to think of him. At the beginning i liked him for his intelligence and independance but with is cold reaction to his fathers and sisters death i was a little wary. I thought that perhaps you were doing that thing that authors do where they show the life of an evil character before they grew up. I've come to like Patrick but i still dont know what to think of him, because even in his relationship with Anne he's quite distant but you can tell that he cares. Oh that reminds me- in the chapter before this, when Patrick and Anne are lying on the sofa and he says that they made a bet about who would say that they loved the other one first, the phrasing was a little confusing, i didnt understand wheterh Patrick was implying that he could go forever without saying it, or that he would say it before her because he would feel it first.
Anyway, im eagerly anticipating my next read!
| The-Angel-Illusion chapter 31 . 3/24/2010
wow I love your story. Please update! I want to know what happens next!
| papaparazzi chapter 31 . 3/14/2010
found another one. march 13th, 973 and februray 5th 983. convos with sarella. like that riley one, this oen really shows how relationship with sarella changed over 10 years. esp cause i noticed that a lot of patrick and salrella's lines are SWITCHED!
1)it's raining, sarella's in pajamas, answers the door to find patrick there
973 Convo: (where sarella lives)
"I didn't even know you knew where I lived," Sarella said as Patrick sat himself down on the bottom step of the stairway that led to upstairs.
"I didn't even know you remembered where I lived," Sarella said as she picked his jacket up and hung it on the railing by the stairs.
973 Convo: (avoiding the truth)
"I heard," she said. "Is it true?"
"Is what true?" Patrick said viciously. "Is my father dead? Yes. Just say it. It makes it easier than just saying random things and avoiding the truth."
"Truly?" he said.
"Truly what?" she said.
"You're really going to Circa?"
"Yes," Sarella answered. "Just say it. It makes it easier than just saying random things and avoiding the truth."
973 Convo: (where's sarellas family)
"Where is your family?" Patrick asked.
"A friend of theirs died on a recent mission," she answered. "They went to pay their respects to the family."
"Where's your family?" he said.
"Out for the night," she answered.
973 convo: (a fight)
"Did you and your mother get in a fight?" Sarella asked.
"He wanted some time alone," she replied.
"You got in a fight."
there were a couple of other little things too. i really like these chapters even more now
| dru83 chapter 31 . 3/12/2010
I really enjoyed reading this and I'm looking forward to reading part two. The only things that could be better with this are a few typos here and there. The problem with spell check is if your typo is an actual word, for example, typing if instead of it, the spell/grammar checker won't find it. I'm willing to help proofread if you want just let me know.
| TymCon chapter 14 . 3/7/2010
Um pattick did cry about his father. At sarelles houseXD
| TymCon chapter 9 . 3/7/2010
Very nice send off to Mr. Leary. Could you get nay more bitter sweet? Lol i loved it:P
| Sea Turtles chapter 31 . 1/8/2010
I like how you ended Part One with a conversation between Patrick and Sarella. As usual, Sarella is filled with nuggets of wisdom :-) . You can tell that both of them have grown up a bit by their dialogue.
- “What happened?” she said, though her voice was hardly audible through the sound of the rain. (...she asked...)
- “Truly?” he said. (...he asked.)
- “Truly what?” she said. (...she asked.)
- “Love him?” Patrick said. (...Patrick asked.)
I love reading your work. I think that if you want to create a new "story" for Part Two, that's fine. Whate4ver is easier for you :-) . Just make sure you let your readers know where to find it ;-) . While it's true that this current story has a lot of chapters, I don't think it'll be a problem if you submit Part Two here as well (I hope not anyway).
I look forward to reading more from you!
| Sea Turtles chapter 30 . 1/8/2010
Things are really tough for the 4th Level Squad. I can't imagine what Riley's going through.
- “What is it?” Patrick said, standing up quickly to see Riley was standing in the door. (...Patrick asked.)
Anne is awesome!
| Sea Turtles chapter 29 . 1/8/2010
It's a good thing Riley has guts. I did like learning more about Alexander.
- “Who is it?” Patrick said. (...Patrick asked.)
When is Patrick NOT involved in awkward situation? Ha, ha, ha.
| Sea Turtles chapter 28 . 1/8/2010
At least we know more about the vision. I don't really know what they can do about it.
- “Vision?” Patrick said. (...Patrick asked.)
- “What is it?” Patrick said. “Tell me.” (...Patrick asked.)
There's no mention of Alexander or the incident that happened the night before. I thought Patrick was touching his face because he couldn't get the image of Alexander out of his head.
| Sea Turtles chapter 27 . 1/8/2010
That is so sad. Very well-written.
- “What’s wrong with Daniel?” Patrick said, trying to keep his voice quiet because the other two were speaking quietly as well. (...Patrick asked...)
- Alexander turned his head slightly to reveal the other half of his face had been badly damaged; horrendously damaged. (...to reveal that the other...)
I hope that Alexander will be okay.