|Reviews for Lost|
| Counting Petals chapter 1 . 6/20/2009
Review Marathon! (See the link on my profile for details.)
I like the first and last line because of the emotion it conveys. I especially liked the image of the tears "crashing" because it was a jarring image that doesn't really usually get associated with tears, but given that your love is "crumpling", it fits.
The second line, though, wasn't as strong. It doesn't really make any sense, and in a poem this short, you need to use every word to its fullest. My suggestion is to rework that line.
Good haiku, though )
| Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 6/18/2009
i liked it; the overall emotions were top notch. I have to say that the middle verse did not make a lot of sense though. Keep up the good work.