Reviews for Cynthia, Somewhat
lookingwest chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
Prize for winning the January WCC! Congratulations!

Flow- As usual, I love the flow of your poetry because it feels as if it was effortless, and I also think that might have to do with the use of the free verse. I think you took the free verse here and used it beautifully, I liked the different stanza lengths, and it almost made the poem visually imperfect for the imperfect subject manner.

Enjoyment- I liked this because I think it was relatable, it reminded me of someone I worked with at Wal-mart last summer and I think everyone can kind of know Cynthia and feel the same way the speaker does in the poem. I also liked it because well, it also left us as readers feeling a little hopeful which was nice even if consciously hopeless.

Subject- Awesome because it's something I usually have never read as the subject of poetry-this imperfect woman. Not to mention, I liked how there was this unsaid truth slithering beneath this narrative, like we all know her hope isn't going to work out, or we feel as though nothing will ever work out for her, and basically, I feel a vibe of pity, or at least to put in lighter terms "to feel sorry for"-and the speaker lays that into the reader, so that we feel the same.

Descriptions- I felt as though I could really see what was going on during this poem, which was something I liked a lot. I could really see Cynthia even though you don't go into extreme detail about her description, I can also visualize a setting and even hear the voices of dialogue, which I liked that you put in italics. I also thought the addition of the story about the chipmunks was well placed to, because it gave us almost a characterization of Cynthia, which can be rare in poetry because it's more of a prose aspect to have character depth and background, when with a poem you're limited somewhat-but you seem to have transcended that limit and brought a visually appealing poem.

Again, congratulations, and I look forward to reading more of your poetry.
for shame chapter 1 . 6/26/2009
"voice tight on the edge of her tongue like a suicide jumper" - the best lines i've read today, by far.

they don't make sense to me, but they draw me in and they intrigue me.

the ending doesn't sound complete, but it doesn't have to. there's enough small details in this piece to last a lifetime.
GirlxAnachronism chapter 1 . 6/22/2009
Really beautiful imagery here. I love how you go from seeing the woman as a joke to wishing her good luck. It shows a compassion, and you portray it very well. Keep it up!
Isca chapter 1 . 6/20/2009
This is definitely a very innovative piece. It tells a story of a friends and all the things left unsaid between them. I love the twist that the main girl is 'obese.' The fact that her friends 'laugh on principle' and 'stare at the flakey stain' on her dress suggests that it's all they can do to keep from rolling their eyes or mocking her. The stanza in which you describe 'domesticated wild blurs' is my favourite-it's so incredibly rich and vibrant. It's all so very emotionally blase-I liked that about it, though, because the characters were very raw and real. :)
cab fed hig chapter 1 . 6/20/2009
this was delightful to read (!)

your descriptions were incredible. this is very real to me (if that makes any sense) and you have the crazy talent of writing poetry that conjures detailed scenes in your reader's minds.