|Reviews for Mafia Runner|
| Le1chi chapter 4 . 7/9/2009
lol well I don't think Romano was actually even hiding the fact that he was in the mafia. With all those people following him! xD
| Marrs chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
I love this story, i re-read it with every new chapter. Can't wait for the next one. Not gonna lie though i'm hoping for some nick/afton drama.
| piriperi chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
So far I love this story! It is well written and I find the characters very interesting. Can't wait for the next chapter :)
| kkit chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
more soon plz
| dreamercrys chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
Hehehe... I love it! I wish I could see Lucian's face when Afton asked him that...buit alas I can't...*sigh* Can't wait to see his reaction though...
| ricemidget chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
I hope Tony doesn't die... 8O
Loving the story more and more!
| Gwengwel chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
Ho, it's was not a long run. Sad, but the *moon* was funny loll.
I really want to know Romano answer about Afton question. Well, I can understand the why but Afton don't know Romano motive and to have the mafia want you... it's can be frightening.
| That Day Is Mine chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
Hullo again! I come with a new name this time, but I'm the same person, yeah. xD
Hmm, the chapter was okay. I suppose you have to build up the story a bit for the reader to sink their teeth into it. I'm still very excited to see where you take this but I won't lie, the bit where Tony and Afton attempt to run away from Lucian was rather lacking in action. There should have been a bit more of a spark in the getaway. Actually the whole getting away could have done with more action, or a little more, I guess spontaneousness? I hope you don't think I'm being rude or anything. I just found the chapter a little boring and you're not a bad writer. I love the idea you've got going and Lucian's speech mannerisms improved. You really cleaned up his dialogue, and I was very happy with that.
Otherwise, Nick kinda bothered me. I dunno why, really but he did. I guess I just found him a little annoying but that's okay. All the characters don't have to be lovable. xD
You did have one error: forgot the space between 'this' and 'strange' at the end of the second scene. I'm not really a grammar person, so sorry I can't be of any help technically.
I look forward to the next chapter!
T.D. Is Mine
P.S. I reviewed last time as An Eccentric Caffeine Addict.
| Sekre chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
Poor conti, caught on the first night.
| pinkeclipse chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
hope tony does enjoy NY for his sister.
| rgrimes89 chapter 3 . 7/6/2009
Arrg! Don't you hate it when you write a review and your signal cuts out as you press send?
So yes. Freakin' awesome story. One of the best stories on FP. I love it. Your two main characters and the dynamic between them is fantastic. I love the mafia theme meets slash story - already this has a plot to die for. All the other characters and the writing in general are pretty damn flawless.
If you don't update this I will go mafia on you and chase you till you do update! :P
But seriously. I'm dying to find out what happens. The whole notion of the impending chase is crazy exciting. Pulleese update!
| greengarbage chapter 3 . 7/4/2009
I was going to wait to review but then you updated so fast. Love your characters, and I love that Afton isn't a victim. Where'd THAT name come from btw? Makes him sound like a snack cake; "let's go into the dining room for dinner and Afters!"
Oh well. Seems like there were some minor mechanics problems in ch1 & 2 but nothing major. Just distracting. Ch3 I think the line "either has my parents." should have been "neither have my parents." Made my eye tick a little and I kept going back to it. Out of curiousity, any chacne this story will be condenced when you finish, or when you get farther along? It gets so annoying to click through chapters when I decide to reread (and I have no doubt I will this one). Or there are websites that do it for you like WWOMB. I'm being annoying now so I'll be quiet, but I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
| lakuniko chapter 3 . 7/3/2009
wow~ this story really awesome. The plot and writing totally great.
Thanks a lot for write this
| Susan chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
Please update :)
| Sekre chapter 3 . 7/1/2009
Love this story!