AWESOME! Well, I have to say, that was very impressive. The only question I have is...is 9 the end or is there going to be more?

Eight chapters in one sitting. Well, I don't usually have that long an attention span when I'm reading on a computer. For chapters 1-8, there were some annoying spelling and verb tense errors, but characterization of the two sisters was way above average - better than almost anything I've ever written. Of course, I don't know how this is going to end, but this strikes me as good enough to adapt for an episode of Ghost Whisperer. Actually it's better than quite a few episodes of that show. You do need someone to proofread for you in person. Or perhaps you could try what I do. I print each chapter out before posting and sit on the couch reading slowly for errors. Errors seem to show up better on printed paper than on computer screens.

Now I know why you liked "Chess Lessons"!

Why must you do that! Ending at cliff hangers! ARGH! Just kidding. That was good. You used so much detail (again.) I am envious of you now, lol. You've come so far in your story and everything.

Not to mention your writing is excellent.

But, anyways, keep up the good writing. And I really want to know what's inthe box! :)

oh scary, and yes it is me im just to lazy to log in :p so whats in the box? hey isint that something from hi-5 or something? 'Whats in the box?' lol :D anywho u better tell me or there will be DIRE consequences! lmao actually the consequences will just be me annoying u during math mwahahahahahahahaha oh and p.s. PANDA POWER!

Oh. Spooky. Love it.

I also like the fact that you describe Tommy so well, making him seem like a real person instead of a just a ghost.

I'm just wondering what he's really pointing to, besides the ground...

This wasn't a bad attempt at all. The syntax could have been better, and there were passages that could have used my detail and better word choice. The story, while it has been done before, was rendered well enough, and the character development was above average.

I run a literature forum that focuses on Gothic horror. I think you could learn a lot there, if you'd care to join.

literati.

OMG! That was excellent. I totally didn't see that coming. Well, I mean, I sure didn't know that Mel was going to ask her sister to see Tommy.

I'm just wondering if she does see him or not...

Other than that, I love it. Keep on writing. :)

Well, after reading chapters 2-4, I must say that this is one brilliant story. I know I've probably said this to you before, but it is.

You have a wonderful way of showing the sisterly bond in the story; showing that even though Melanie is jealous of her sister, there is this bond between them that is just there.

I'm glad that her and her sister are finally becoming friends.

As for Tommy, I like the fact of you bringing a ghost into the story. Is he going to play an important part in the story?

Also, what is the dark secret her parents are hiding from her and her sister?

:) great story panda very scary! HAHA jks soz but if something can actually scare me it will be a miricale :) did u get outstanding on ur report cause if u didnt u should have and if u didnt blame the stupid zivkobitch awesomeness story and i cant wait for the next chapter! oh p.s. PANDA POWER

WOW awesomeness story hahaha i haven't even read it yet but im still reviewing it lol PANDA POWER anyway do u want to read my review or can i read it out for you i can call you and read out all of your reviews MWAHAHAHAHA LUV YOU p.s. you better come to school on friday or there will be HELL to pay. also you beter update the story and add a new chapter or i can't put up another review. CYA

Wow. So far, I'm really beginning to see the characters. It's like you made them real. (Pretty cool, btw. :))

And the house...the house sounds really pretty from my perspective. Are we going to find out who Darren is later on?

P.S. Can't wait for next chapter! It's going to be awesome!

As far as I can see, the first chapter was brilliant! Your description is just perfect and I think that this is going to be one heck of a story.

A very good start to a very promising story. I like your characters, especially the contrast between Mel and Holly, though I suppose they're the only ones you've introduced yet. Do continue; this looks like it could get -really- interesting.