Reviews for Shift Edited Version
mauve soul chapter 2 . 2/19/2013
Again, your writing style is flawless. I already have a crush on Connor, he's the shit.

M
Mysterious MD chapter 32 . 7/28/2010
This was a fantastic story, it is actually my second time reading it and it was just as amazing as the first time. I think I noticed a change you made from the first version, but I loved this story. There were still a few spelling errors scattered throughout the chapters, but it was still such a great story. I started reading your sequel and can't wait to keep reading it. Great job with this story.
Prinnydood02 chapter 23 . 5/13/2010
"Bridget turned to me, just visible as the last fingers of red sunlight reached her. It gave me a horrible image of her drenched in blood. I shrunk back more."

Best paragraph of the chapter, by far. It was perfectly placed, considering the big reveal before it. Perfect use of imagery as well.

Bridget's story was fascinating... and long. Longer than I expected. But that's good because I could get a good sense of exactly what happened. It's about time things came full-circle with her. At least one question has been answered.

I love it when I'm right! Cade does love Bridget. Kind of obvious, but at least he admitted it instead of trying to deny it.

This was one of the best chapters so far. Emotional drama isn't really my thing, but I think you got the right amount here. Not too much, but not to little as to berate the severity of Bridget's mistake.

Well done!
Prinnydood02 chapter 22 . 5/6/2010
Honestly, why does Claire even bother with Connor anymore? He never believes anything she has to say when it comes to werewolves. This is why Nicole will always be more awesome than him...

It was nice to see Claire take charge after Bridget and Cade went at each other's throats again. Maybe now they'll actually get somewhere.
Prinnydood02 chapter 21 . 5/5/2010
"Excuse me, but I don't have the ability to morph into a wolf at will and acquire brute strength."

I think I've made it quite clear that I love Claire's sarcasm. I'd hoped this line would spark a war of words between her and Bridget, but I guess they have more pressing matters to tend to right now...

Bridget and Cade bicker like a brother and sister would. Are they related, however distant it may be? If not, I could see them getting together after this conflict is over. You know, opposite attract and everything.

I think I'm growing to like Cade a bit more. I'm still getting a cocky vibe from him, but it's nice that he sticks up for Claire where Bridget doesn't seem to care about her.
Prinnydood02 chapter 20 . 5/5/2010
"Bridget scared me twice as much as this guy and she was at least a foot shorter than him."

This line was funny only because it gives me the impression that Bridget is a runt. Then again, compared to Claire, I guess she would be, huh?

The ending brought a lot of mystery and intrigue. I'm just going to guess that these guys following Claire are in fact shape-shifters. We haven't actually seen one yet, so it's the only logical conclusion.
Prinnydood02 chapter 19 . 4/22/2010
"..I woke up to my mom practicing her tennis backhand with my pillow again."

I liked this line. It was a good way to avoid saying "Mom woke me up by hitting me with my pillow."

"Keeping the cold shoulder would only give me frostbite."

Another great line and a good way to sum up Claire's situation in one witty line.

The conversation Claire and Connor has was good. It nicely transitioned from apology to date talk. Though, I was surprised to see Claire forgive him so easily after taking everything Connor's done into account. Once again, I wanted to see some blood shed or insults slung or something.

Bridget has some serious problems! She seems to hate the idea of accepting help from others. The good thing is she's always there to make things exciting!

I've officially run out of ways to say "good chapter; can't wait to read more." But know that it was good and I do want to read on!
Prinnydood02 chapter 18 . 4/20/2010
I was expecting Travis to be a shape-shifter, but I guess I was wrong. Cade's appearance certainly is a surprise, though. I wonder what he and Bridget talked about...
Prinnydood02 chapter 17 . 4/19/2010
I can't put my finger on it, but that first paragraph was beautifully done. It flowed really, really well for some reason. Maybe it was the word choice, or sentence variety, or something. Just know that it was really good!

Yes! Claire's consciousness makes a return!

There was certainly a lot of built up tension in the moment that the recording played. It kind of got my heart racing as I read it. Good job with that.

Connor has once again mounted his high horse, I see. The weird part is, I'm just as angry at him as the girls are. He doesn't want to believe Claire at this point. He's been given enough chances and the perfect proof, yet he still chooses to blow Claire off like this. He's nothing more than a close-minded fool. ...Oh well. At least Nicole believed her. Then again I would expect nothing less from her.

A good, tense chapter. I think the descriptions in this chapter were excellent and the flow was nice. And Nicole finally returned!
Prinnydood02 chapter 16 . 4/10/2010
Claire's mom was about to call the cops? Whoa, talk about overprotective...

There were a lot of funny lines born from Claire's awkward conversation with her mother, but I think this one takes the cake: "Who died and made you Dr. Phil?" I think jokes about Dr. Phil are hilarious anyway so I could be biased. Still great, though. I laughed for a good minute or two after reading it. The whole situation around it only made the line that much funnier.

I just love backhanded compliments. Claire's comment to her sister about her hair was just priceless.

That was a cute end to the chapter with the puppy. I hope they'll meet again.
Prinnydood02 chapter 15 . 4/10/2010
Claire's clock has green numbers? The only alarm clocks I've seen have red ones. Probably a useless comment, but I figured I'd mention it just because it caught my attention.

I'm a little confused. Were the last two chapters Claire being astrally projected to Bridget's location? Not that there's anything wrong with this, but I'm finding myself just as bewildered as Claire. My guess is, this was intentional. It certainly does bring me into her shoes a little more than I was before.

I'm going to throw the suggestion that the transition from Claire going to sleep to her waking up the next morning be separated by a horizontal break. That seems like the perfect place to take a mental pause and allow the reader to prepare themselves to envision the next scene. At least, that's how I use them, anyway.

I found it amusing that even though Bridget was hurting in this chapter, it didn't dull her abrupt personality. I really like it when character's traits are carried throughout every emotional state they'll experience. I think this is the key to making a truly memorable character and you've accomplished it with aplomb with Bridget.

I think it's a really unique idea for Bridget's "world" to only be visible to those that truly believe it exists. It's like the world's protection is ensured because believing in such an outlandish idea as a werewolf just wouldn't normally happen. I'm floored by how obvious, yet simple the concept is. It's just... a really great idea.

Claire's a sneaky one! Secretly recording the conversation like that, that seems like something she'd do. This is Claire's shining moment to throw the whole werewolf thing in Connor's face. I can't wait for that!

While I felt the last two chapters were maybe a bit to technical, this one was full of the jargon from the previous chapters, but in a way I could actually understand. That makes sense because we were around others that actually understood everything they were saying, but this chapter helped clear quite a few things up. Now that I'm up to speed, I can relax and enjoy the story a bit more.

We haven't seen Nicole in a while. Just when I declare her as my favorite character, she goes MIA. Funny how things turn out like that...
Prinnydood02 chapter 14 . 4/3/2010
Rea reminds me of a gentle elder who knows a person's faults, yet is able to look past them and see the good in people. She certainly much friendlier than Bridget's parents.

This chapter has a really silky smooth flow. The transitions were well done. There were a lot of characters to take in though. Between this and the last chapter I'm going to have a bit of trouble remembering who all of the wolves are.

Bridget's mission has me intrigued, though. It irritated me every time it was vaguely brought up.
Prinnydood02 chapter 13 . 4/3/2010
First thing: Babbling brook has to be the best two-word combo ever. You get extra points for using it!

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but you do a very good job of painting a picture with words. I really liked all of the description you used for the scenery at the beginning of the chapter. The thing I liked most was that you appealed to all of the senses (except taste, but that's understandable) which made me feel like I was there as well.

One thing I noticed is that the other wolves in this chapter have... well, unusual names, or at least, names I've never heard while Bridget's name isn't one I have to do a double-take on to see if I'm pronouncing it correctly. I actually like this but I can't really explain why. It makes the other wolves seem more fantastical while bringing Bridget down to earth, I guess.

There was a lot of unexplained jargon dropped in this chapter. It only leads me to ask more questions, which I hope will be answered soon.
Prinnydood02 chapter 12 . 3/29/2010
First off, the chapter title made me think of the Lion King, my favorite movie ever. I'm sure that wasn't intentional, but still cool nonetheless.

Why'd you have to tease us like that? I was secretly hoping it was Bridget who'd step from behind the tree and not Connor. I'm not a big fan of him right now. Hopefully that'll change after this chapter, though.

Aw, how cute. They made up, just like that. I was kind of hoping for some fighting, yelling, or something. But I guess this will do.

Its about time Bridget showed up. Things got pretty tense between her and Claire. It only got weirder when she offered Claire protection.

It's about time she kissed him. I'm not a big fan of romances that drag on and tease us with a bunch of they-were-so-close-to-kissing moments.

I think this chapter was good because it tied up some loose ends as far as character relationships go. Bridget and Claire are still left hanging a little, but just enough to keep things interesting.

The only thing missing was Nicole...
Prinnydood02 chapter 11 . 3/29/2010
I'm a little surprised that Claire was able to remain calm enough to immediately go and do research on werewolves after being attacked by one. Either she's got ice for blood or she's got an unhealthy interest in them. Then again, she could just be excited that her prediction about Bridget was right.

..."excuse me for being stupid enough for calling you on your phone that you left on..."

This line was just great. The way Nicole accented each of the "you's" only made it funnier.

I liked reading Claire's mind nagging at her throughout the chapter. It was a nice way to characterize the guilt stinging at her.

I can't say Connor didn't have this coming for him with the whole fight with Claire. Why choose right then to try and believe her? I probably would have reacted the same as Claire in that situation.

I think this chapter solidified Nicole as my favorite character. She seemed pretty trusting of Claire considering how outlandish her encounter seemed. Plus, she really knows how to change the mood of a conversation. She's got that perfect childhood friend personality.

What an ominous ending. I'm going to say the note was left by the ice queen Bridget. Though how she got into the house is a mystery...
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