Reviews for The Loyal Knight
XxCaptainKoalaxX chapter 3 . 9/21/2009
OMG...AWESOME STORY;) HOPE U CAN UPDATE SOON-
Snow Wolf Alpha chapter 3 . 9/21/2009
Just found this and loved it but I lived in Wales and only about 20% of the population speak Welsh.

Hope that the writers block won't come back.

When will they meet?
Ipaintwithwords chapter 3 . 9/21/2009
Thank you for the update, good to see you again...:)

Wow, poor Becca, losing her parents and then having to move so far away. I wonder what adventures she will find herself in as the story goes along...:)

I really like the idea of this legend you are using as a platform for this story, keep it up
Narq chapter 3 . 9/20/2009
OMG! This is so good, and I'd say this is so worth the wait.

I loved the subtle hints of mystery thoughout and you had my attention for the whole piece!

Narq.

P.S. I loved the past paragraph
Sonyashinto chapter 3 . 9/20/2009
interesting story you have here. Im looking forward to your next chapter. Update soon!

Ja-Ne _
Cyphren chapter 3 . 9/20/2009
Nice little start. Your descriptions are interesting and I liked chapter three paralleling the priest story and the two teens.

I'm not overly strong with accents (read: nfi ;)), but a few times you have had your Welshmen using 'ye', and 'you' in the same sentence.

Another little thing in ch3 is Brandon asks her if she has ever heard the legend of the Welsh Werewolf. She hasn't, so he starts the story. A little later she asks what the creature is, and another patron tells her its a werewolf. Brandon felt his story spoiled, but he had already mentioned it was a werefolf. 'Legend of the Welsh monster' or 'night stalker' or something non-werewolf would fix this.
Jenevieve.K chapter 3 . 9/20/2009
loving the story u must update soon! very exciting :)
Pidge chapter 2 . 8/22/2009
this seems like it will be a wonderful story... are you going to update? i hope you will i think its lovely
zagato chapter 2 . 7/25/2009
Hi! I like your story. Please write more.
Narq chapter 2 . 7/3/2009
Wow, the werewolf scenes were beautifully written: "Loyalty is a choice. Enslavement is a command." that was one lovely piece, and there was a lot of good imagery there too!

Great chapter, this one, and I can't wait for more!
Kestral101 chapter 1 . 7/1/2009
Ah...it was torture to come to the end of the page and realise that there is only one chapter so far. I will definatelty be eagerly awaiting the next chapters. A story that holds promise. (all that from one chapter.)
Skellington chapter 1 . 6/28/2009
Some grammatical errors here and there, but wow, that was very good. I love your writing style and I look forward to reading more.

'heal the warrior who lied before her'

That was the one thing I wasn't sure about. I think its either lay or laid, not lied. Could be wrong though.

Also, if you have the time, could you read and review my one story, please? Thanks.

Skellington
Ipaintwithwords chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
Hey Wolfprint!

Good to see another story by you and I loved your prologue. Some excellent descriptions...:)

Can't wait for more
Narq chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
Hello hello! I was just thinking about you last night! What a lovely surprise that you had a new story up this morning And... wow! Dedicated to ME I'm so honoured!

This story is definately worth it. This is a short opening, with only two charcters, but the two characters are carefully defined and different. It will be interesting to see what the 'twin' thinks when he lives.

A few things that jumped out to me: {moon sheds her blood across the sky} - beautiful!

{heart’s beat slowed to the rhythmic dance of the still air} - nice

ANyways, keep on writing, and me, your always, faithful reader is waiting! (er... grammer is wonky...)
SabakuNoStupid chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
This idea interests me, and your writing overall is good. However, there's something about the way that the first paragraph is written that strikes me as odd. It seems to me as if you're trying to make the scene beautiful while at the same time it's inherently a tragic moment. I noticed a similar thing happening in a few other places as well. You might want to keep an eye on that.

Also, I'd suggest checking over your work a bit more thoroughly before posting. There were some grammatical errors.