Reviews for Control
limpwrist chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
This is lovely, each line is striking
Beena chapter 1 . 10/11/2009
It's actually one of those poems that manages to make you understand without forcing it in your face. You didn't need to straight out say it, you let us know because you have that ability, something I admire. Funnily enough, I had no clue why I searched Amanda Palmer, but then my favourite song popped up in the description and I couldn't resist )
Pathway chapter 1 . 7/11/2009
perfect description. I enjoy your unique metaphores i.e. 'time bombs sleep in my veins'. With this piece it felt like you captured a fluid visual motion.
Isca chapter 1 . 7/2/2009
Hello,

"I want to stretch out my hand and reach for you but I can't move." I literally had to pause for a few moments and regain my thoughts. This opening line left me feeling breathless. The angst is palpable. Excellent work.

"What time bombs sleep in my veins." That's a very mind-blowing line, if I do say so myseld. It's as if the speaker is just waiting for himself to explode. That's both fascinating and rather grim.

"And I built it." Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. The speaker acknowledges that we often create our own pain/fate.

"Maybe I'll wrap myself in a flag." This line is very creative and interesting. The speaker wants to 'wrap' himself in bravery when he knows he's at his weakest moment.

Your writing is quite refreshing,

-Isca
fictionalboyfriend chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
Some of the lines in this really resonate with me. The whole "wish-drenched wings" one, especially.

I like how you said "at your sneakers" rather than "at your feet".
rage of aquarius chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
"wish-drenched/wings."

That line, the longing in the entire thing... *phenomenal.*