|Reviews for Ravenous|
| Demon Vampire180 chapter 1 . 2/3/2011
This wasn't awful really. The writing was actually fairly good. But there are some things that really distracted me from the overall story.
1. The pace. The story started off pretty good. It felt to be a good pace. But by the second or third full paragraph it start to feel a bit rushed. All of a sudden it's going at like double-time. I would suggest slowing it way down and taking much more time to describe. Especially the main sex scene. It was just boom, boom, boom. There were no real... "Climax"... I guess you could say.
2. The use of the word tits. Although I have nothing against using the word, as I use it myself when around friends, it's really very overused. Whenever you are describing her chest you use tits which became from distracting. There are many words that could be easily used and replaced. Which brings me to my final point.
3. You describe the main characters breasts a lot. After the second or third time there is no real need to reiterate it. Once people know how big her breasts on they don't need to be told again and again. It just get's to be much too repetitive.
Other than that, and I'm sorry if I'm sounding mean, it was good. Don't take this badly. It's just a suggestion from one writer to another.
| outsidersgirl chapter 1 . 10/29/2010
this is good
| Taylor n Mia chapter 1 . 7/9/2009
| Allie R chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
Incest is always good. P Can't wait for more
| DiscoloredEyes chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
yay for incest :)
it was hot and awesome.. and hot
thx for sharing :D
| blckphoenix chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
While overly short, that was pretty darn good. But if its short for a reason, I won't get in on that. Some fics like this are good even when they're short as long as the content is worth reading. Hahaha, me and my guilty pleasure.