Reviews for Give, Yield, Submit, Surrender
uponatyme chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
I can almost tell that this was one of your last rhyming poems. The rhymes seem a little forced, but just good enough to make the poem very thoughtful.
laurenthriller chapter 1 . 7/13/2009
I hate hate hate rhyme. But I do like this.

The whole "surrender" theme is very strong, for a seemingly positive and light poem. I found it odd that you went from "yesterday" to "tomorrow" and then back to "today", while a lot of authors would go chronologically. Little things like that can really catch attention in a big way.

Just a heads up - Your very last line... after "I promise" you have a comma instead of a period. I'm not sure if you intended that or not.

Good job!
Unique1952 chapter 1 . 7/13/2009
Nice work with this.

I like the rhyme scheme and the concept but I do believe that your meter was a little off.

Again, nice work with this poem.
Amaury chapter 1 . 7/9/2009
Wow. I love the first words of each stanza. They really add a lasting effect, if that makes sense. Beautiful job.
howdylv08 chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
Awesome! It reminds me of recovering from a mentally scarring experience. Very good. Keep it up!

Sophie :3