|Reviews for A FallBack Remnant: Advent of Municipal Wealth Fun|
| MrFlames chapter 1 . 7/1/2009
Your writing is getting more stylized based on themes, but still could use a stronger hook. Why this essay? Why now? I don't get a sense of the point of your essay until the fourth paragraph, and for an online article I think that's too long.
"Determinism applied to politics follows a linear premise." - 'linear premise' is so awkward. I think the first sentence is actually convoluted enough that you could just drop it. If you start with "small evolves into big" your essay would also mirror itself structurally, which is also cool.
If you think saying "Capitalism has died" is being linked with fear-mongering, perhaps it's because you're being hyperbolic. Capitalism is a sickly man, withered but still young, feverish on his deathbed. To say he has already died would be jumping the gun, and at the moment hyperbole.
And I for one have not heard of the "nascent state sovereignty movement" and think you could transition in and out of that idea much clearer.
| Typewriter King chapter 1 . 6/30/2009