Brilliant and wonderful. I wish I had something interesting to say, but really, this just felt nice and comfortable all the way through. It's wonderful how you take your time exploring everything, also the Ava-aspect of the story, and how you force us at the end to return to the top. I really liked Ava's character and I feel bad for her. Their break-up was a bit sudden, because I didn't feel Darren's affection for Riley was stronger already - it felt like he was on the way but not quite there - so to be honest I'm a bit anxious for Riley and Darren's relationship. Riley's too nice a guy to have his heart broken. Then again, minor details, this was a five-star story, congrats.

I'm still torn between Ava and Riley, even now. The emotions and descriptions are fantastic. I love how they aren't all supermodel perfect descriptions either, leaving some actual flaws in there. The realism's great.

About the only complaint I'd have to that the sections aren't clearly defined, so that it takes a few sentences to figure out that some sort of location or time shift has occurred. It makes for plenty of rereading going through. Maybe sort it a bit more clearly? Just a thoughtBeau.

Oh my...that story was so beautiful! I-I don't know what to say! It was written in such an amazing way and I just felt so sorry for Riley the entire time, but I also felt so bad for Ava that was so heartwrenching, but it was absolutely beautiful. Thanks for this amazing story :)

your story had a very soft and meelow feeling about it, i enjoyed reading it )

Absolutely wonderful. The entire piece just had this melancholic feel to it, and pretty much kept me in a somber mood the entire time I was reading it. Of course, there were also parts that had me smiling, and even giggling a bit.

There were a few grammatical mistakes that I'm willing to overlook, especially since I'm assuming they were slight typos that FP screwed up, or were just overlooked.

The ending was really sweet, and even though I'm a avid m/m relationship fan right now, I did feel bad for Ava.

You did a wonderful job with this, and I plan to read some more of your stuff! But don't expect a review, lol. I tend to review only one time for an author. So, yeah. I'm just that lazy. Be happy I'm reviewing this, at least!

Okay. Well, again, beautifully written, and I look forward to your other works!

Ash

I really enjoyed this. It had such a melancholy feeling to it... it was a little painful at times. But it ended happily and I'm glad for that. I liked the way you framed the story. All in all, very good.

This was really, really, /really/ well done. I love the way that you can tell that Darren is completely in love with both Ava /and/ Riley. And the scenes that you used were all so perfect for telling the whole story, even though they're really just clips. And I love that it's so bittersweet throughout. Because it isn't just mindless fluff, it's actually really deep, and explores an issue that a lot of people have to deal with - maybe not everyone, but still a lot: having feelings for more than one person.

um, the hopeless romantic within me that i thought had died was fully resurrected while reading this.

this completely made my evening.

very well written and emotional.

epic win :)

Extremely enjoyable : D

I like the beginning leading to the end thing xD

Lovely, so lovely. I rarely see someone so eloquent lingering around sites like this, and your writing style is simply superb! :D

:D

i like happy faces

i also liked this story

:D

I just had an erotica fantasy with two guys I know with the same name damn it...I have a habit of doing that when I see this kinda stuff...but hey this was nicely written the pace was moderate to some degree but very nice put and set more stories this one was intresting!

I didn't even know you'd put it up here until I got your email, you sly old minx. Trying to slip it past me, huh?

Seeing as I've already read this before - quite a few times D - and been through it verbatim, there isn't a lot more I can say that I haven't said before.

Firstly, my quibbles. No matter how true you want to be to reality, in terms of having the characters speak like normal human beings, and not wanting to scare off your readers with impeccable grammar, I will never forgive you for not writing that first line - I still love the cyclic nature of it, regardless, as you already know - correctly: "WHOM do you want to forget?"

Also, and I know you have since learned this through my berating, but, lover, when you throw in a captial noun, you must always, unless that capital noun begins the sentence, prefix it with a comma. I.e "Oh, I know, Sheila is a complete slut." We won't further discuss Sheila's sexual deviations here, but the point still stands.

And I really can't think of anything else to criticise, so I'll just get onto the praise. But it'll have to be brief because the review box is doing its stupid epileptic fit thing. Basically, you know I'm sad about what happened to Ava: she was an absolute sweetheart. However, after much dithering, I have decided to come down in acceptance of Darren and Riley. The ending bit really cinched it for me, really. That was so so beautifully done, and I don't give a crap what you say about not being able to write poetically, that was beautiful. I'm still laughing about the sentence "Possibly they’re not as good at sneaking around corners and standing very, very still." xD, because you know it made me think that's exactly what you'd probably do.

And your little author's notes about me were so charming, *sniffs*, you flatter me endlessly, you rogue. But, sweetie, we need to work on your summary. I think it could do with a bit of work. Sounds too cliched. I shall reply to your email now, and I'll try and give you suggestions about how to improve it a little, but obviously it'll be your final decision. Even though it isn't, because I wear the lederhosen in this [civil] partnership.

And yeah, I love this, Nav. You did a fantastic job, and possibly, POSSIBLY, it's my favourite thing of yours. Though the adoption story comes very close second.

This was just lovely. I really like how it's cyclical. The passage of time also worked really well without seeming choppy.

Oh my goodness! This is very good. It's sweet, and it's real, and it's just written very nicely. You have a very good style. This is amazing. I love it :D It was very... creative. It's great, seriously. I like it. Wow. No, really. It's just that good.