Reviews for Isabelle |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() It's good... ) Wish it'll be longer though... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Now THAT was a good story; the narrative device (the diary-alike structure) is a little overrused, but this time is actually done right, and it makes perfect sense with the nature of the story and the plot. It amused me, it was more what I expected. Good job. |
![]() ![]() ![]() What a story...I like the way you've created a perspective that no one seems to think about in teen pregnancy...The perspective of the mother to be. Usually people think of their perpective first. This is well written too. Well done! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think you portrayed the girls' emotions and thoughts in such an situation quite accurately but it has such an unsatisfactory ending. Maybe you can just add another entry or two where she decides what she is going to do with the baby? |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story is written really well and the only thing I could see that can be improved upon is the blot "I tried to blot it with toilet paper" blot is when you remove wet ink from a letter when you write with a fountain pen. " I tried to staunch it with toilet paper" would work better. |
![]() ![]() ![]() i loved your summary, def. was unexpected and left me smiling. thus is life, yes? design/format- i do like certain elements (such as the narration-like description of the diary pages) but the formatting looks a little messy. i would suggest one date/entry per fp chapter, but then they would almost be too short. maybe consider lengthening these a bit or working with the layout? in general i think you could actually go in to a lot more detail with this. it's a really promising story actually! and it would be a shame to have it written off by anyone on here. def. interested in seeing what you do with this and will be checking back for updates! |