|Reviews for The Bonny Ship|
| MiidKniight chapter 2 . 11/1/2010
Just a suggestion, I think she should use swearing instead of cussing.
I have no idea what to make of the pirates. I'm not even sure they're actual pirates. I love complete stories. :) lol
| MiidKniight chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
That was pretty intense. You described that beautifully. I had a sharp image of the scene. I even have a picture of Eva which is odd since you have not described her. I'm so excited for a good ship story!
| AndItMovesUsAll chapter 18 . 9/29/2010
Ah loved this story so much! Havent found such a good action adventure story in ages! I absolutely love the whole idea of the island and the fact that time stops there, and all creatures and mermaids. I think the plot was amazing, you gripped me straight away with the ship going down, and then the straight onto the ship, it was brilliant. It had such a great pace, i really wasnt sure what was going to happen next. All of your characters were so strong, you couldnt help but fall in love with them, and you really got a sense of the history between them, if that makes sense? As in you'd really set it up well, it really was like the people had been stuck on that island for years, and i loved the interaction between them. I suspected that Coulton might have been betrayed by the captain before!
The romance aspect was beautiful, you steadily built the realtionship between them and you cant but fall head over heels with James. I like how it wasnt cliche as well, it was passionate but real, for instance, the fact that she openly admitted he could not be called handsome towards the end there.
The 'emo chapter' certainly lived up to its name, it made me feel the kind of sadness and anger that you feel deep in your chest, it was so well written, as was the whole story. You also managed to stick to the language and culture of the time very well, without making it hard to read, as it sometimes is with books set in historical times. And the songs featured but brilliant, did you make them up yourself? They sounded so real!
I absolutely cannot wait to read the sequel, im wondering if it will featuer Peter because with the way things were left it seemed that avenue was left open, he had such promise as a character so i'd love to see more of him.
| sunshine423 chapter 18 . 7/23/2010
Absolutely loved your story!
| Chocorange888 chapter 17 . 6/21/2010
I don't know if I have said this before, but it's probably one of the best adventure stories here. Thank you for finishing it, I guess I will start on the sequal now...?
| trustnme chapter 18 . 6/20/2010
Oh! EVIL cliffhanger! haha
THAT'S a very interesting way to end a book. And frustrating! Good thing you've already got some of your sequel already started. Heh.
Oh, and I'd like to point out to you since I forgot, for last chapter, you have a few grammatical mistakes that you might want to go over and fix. It's just missing letters to words and words you may have not have intended. :D
Here's my review for your entire story:
While "The Bonny Ship" was just 18 chapters, it was a wild wide through and through. It's really so hard to come across authors on this site who actually know what they are doing, and I'm just so glad I stumbled onto your story. It actually reminds me a lot like my own pirate series "The Pirate Legacy" in that we focus on details, rely heavily on research to be politically correct (haha), and know how to create deliciously stunning revelations/plot twists.
Though short, yours is truly wonderful. You've turned an already made up concept of a character (Shelley) and made him into your own that gives the character a whole new way of looking at him. I will never look at Captain Hook again without being reminded of Shelley. haha I really liked how you slowly unfolded the details/past about his character. It's so hard to introduce a character sometimes and finding the balance between what should be known right away to the reader and what should be slipped in throughout the story.
Eva was wonderful. Naive at times, but she provided a perfect vessel from which some of your explanations about nautical jargon could be slipped into. I think the only development I saw in her was that she came to not fear the pirates, but that may be what I can think of at the top of my head. More importantly, she helped us see in her point of view at times the dynamic between Shelley and Coulter and hopefully for some readers, helped understand that rigid law and order isn't always good.
I think you could have done more with the lizard people on the island. They appeared twice throughout the entire story, but there was a lot of potential you could have taken with them. They were such interesting creatures that it's a shame you didn't delve deeper, but you had your reasons so I'm not sighing that much on what could have been. haha :D
| Reviewer chapter 8 . 6/20/2010
I've only just read chapter seven, and I see that you've updated while I was reading. This makes me smile.
Also, I thought I should let you know that this story is HIGHLY under appreciated by the masses. You should have seven-hundred reviews by now. This is fantastic literature, and you should be proud of your work. When I've finished with this, I'm going to see what else you've created with that brilliant mind of yours. I love these characters...and I wouldn't mind having my own Captain James Shelley in my life :).
| trustnme chapter 17 . 6/19/2010
Simply splendid. No sooner had I finished reading your message reply to me that I saw the alert for this chapter. I'm quite sad that it's about to be over yet eager to see what you've written to far for the sequel.
I laughed at the implication (intended or otherwise) when I read "Captain's Wife" as part of Eva's "duties." haha
What I especially loved, besides the ending - simple yet perfect -, was that you cleverly used "JAS" which is of course another nickname for James and another reference to Peter Pan. Also the "girlie" reference. Funny. Loved it! haha
As for Peter, you'd have to think about the logistics of getting him off Lost Island if we ever want to see him again. :D
| trustnme chapter 16 . 6/19/2010
I have not commented yet, not even last chapter, and I must say, you really know how to surprise!
Poor Peter. He could have been great. I'm sure it's just devastation and having Coulter's genes that turned him. Heh.
Everything's moving along well and very quickly. I tip my metaphorical hat to you for the ghost ship sequence. That was a clever redemption. Shelley's apology was very good and very, very sad. I loved it. Almost teared up myself. :D
Can't wait to see what's next!
| trustnme chapter 14 . 6/17/2010
Ah, finally managed to read this. Very excellent and entertaining as always. You know, with all that was happening with Eva and Shelley, I entirely forgot John was a priest. haha
Shelley's proposal was awesome and totally him. Abrupt with undertones of being sweet in his brash way. :D Kudos to you!
And seeing Peter wasn't a complete surprise, since all that noise that went on outside the door couldn't have possibly not have woken him.
Can't wait for the rest!
| trustnme chapter 13 . 6/16/2010
Ah, another exciting chapter. Honesly, I was with Shelley and was screaming half the time reading for Eva to already kill Coulter when she had the chance. haha
I really thought Coulter would read Eva's message aloud, or at least give it a read, so I was surprised when he did tear it up.
Congrats on winning the L'Action Award! You definitely deserve it!
| trustnme chapter 12 . 6/10/2010
I would like to say first off that I have missed you! haha Very, very good and intriguing chapter. I was thoroughly disgusted by Coulter's implications towards Eva, especially after reading your little sidenote at the very end about the kissing bit.
I really like how you paralleled Peter's situation with "The Prince and the Pirate" story, and you brought about that parallelism very well, too.
I was gagging a few times with the Coulter-Eva interractions. Just plain creepy. haha I have an inkling where are you going with this, but then again, you left so much to go into different directions, so I'll keep what I have in mind to myself for the while.
Awesome job! Can't wait for the next chapter!
| lili999 chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
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| trustnme chapter 11 . 5/22/2010
And I thought the chapter before last was your emo one? haha I'd call this chapter more tragic than emo, although there is a lot of brooding!
You had me totally guessing and wondering what I had missed when Shelley and Eva kept worrying over Lachlan's words UNTIL you finally explained what they'd been worrying about! I'd thought I'd missed it in the last chapter or something.
I found one small grammatical mistake:
However, infection set in despite his best efforts, and survival depended entirely on Eva's on strength, if even that.
*I don't think you meant to put two "on's" there. Heh.
I love your wordplay, especially when you described Shelley doing "absolutely nothing." Brilliant and witty. You know what? I knew he'd miss, but in that he actually would hit her, just not kill her. haha
And I just LOVE you "I love you" scene. So simple and yet has all the impact any cheesy romance novel tries and fails to make!
Overall, this chapter was just so fraught with terror, rage, and unfathomable sorrow! You are truly one of the few great writers on Fictionpress, and I don't say that lightly! I'm very intrigued as to Shelley's last words to Coulter and am eagerly waiting to see where the story goes!
| trustnme chapter 10 . 5/17/2010
Lovely chapter. Shelley's bipolarity is always amusing. I wonder what made him so happy? haha
I really do now sense Patrick O'Brien influences. Especially with Shelley and Lachlan as foils. I was very impressed that Lachlan knows how to pick a lock. haha
What I loved most about the chapter was just Shelley's quips to almost everything. He was so entertaining!
Can't wait for the next one!