Reviews for Letters
thefaultinourpatronus chapter 9 . 10/2/2010
No, I think it makes perfect sense. That's how my friends and I do it, and it's not confusing, it's fine as it is!

Update please :)
thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 9/30/2010
Love it :) Emily seems realistic and nice, the story has a captivating storyline. Well done

x

mandy
naito-kun chapter 2 . 9/22/2010
somehow even though delilah said she didn't forgive sharon, the way she replied strangely, warmed my heart and told me that maybe things would work out fine between the both of them
seredemia chapter 1 . 9/19/2010
Ooh! I love reading letters! This should be interesting!

'I can't believe such a gorgeous hunk like Julian is going out with a [dag] like Megan!'

- Dag? Do you mean 'drag'? I've never heard of dag before...

'She called my hair a bunch of snakes, when mum plaited them.'

- You don't need to comma here.

Hehe. I love how you mentioned that Megan is like layers and layers of maybeline! That was hilarious! I love how this is in letter style too. Makes me wonder why it's in letter style, but it's different from other stories that I've read.

'Do you know where that is Aunt Cass?'

- Comma after 'is'

I love how the letter has so much of Emily's personality. I also like how you've revealed her name and stuff... It's not forced or anything... Just a random thought, lol. Hmm. I'm really intruiged about Emily's family. That must mean her mum and her dad aren't together..? Because they're leaving their dad behind? That must be horrible for her... She seems really close to her aunt too, since she's writing this letter to her.

Aah. Her dad abuses their mum. Well, he deserved to get left behind then. Geez, their dad is a maniac. I really love how you're slowly revealing information about Emily. Great job on this so far.

Gossip
Prainey Boy chapter 9 . 8/15/2010
Jagga, it is awesome. Loving it so far. Its going as planned which is good, there are few grammatical errors throughout the chapters, so make sure you double check yeah? Apart from that, you've got the characters down good. Sometimes your own personality style shines through some characters, which does make them seem similar, so make sure you differentiate more, BUT thats not too prominent. Its really god.
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 8/5/2010
This is a very interesting format for a story. I can honestly say that I've never before seen a story that is composed entirely of letters/emails. So this is very original, and it seems like you're going to do a good job with it.

Emily's voice is already strong and descriptive, even so early into the plot. I'm already liking her and her down to earth attitude about everything. You've characterized her very nicely here.

A beautiful start. I'm afraid I can't find anything to critique.
sw13 chapter 6 . 8/5/2010
What the hell? What is up with this guy? I do like how you put a chapter from his side of the story... Though i don't like that he knows this Delilah person... Keep the story going. Its good
sw13 chapter 5 . 8/5/2010
Ethan's got some daddy issues. Then again so does the whole family... Another really good chapter. I think your really capturing the individual characters emotions in each letter. Keep it up
sw13 chapter 4 . 8/5/2010
Well...who likes a house that smells like that... Another good chapter. The story is progressing really well. Keep it up.
lookingwest chapter 4 . 8/3/2010
Let me start by apologizing for the amount of time that this return took to get to you. This was completely unlike me and completely uncalled for, I feel terrible. I should have had this reviewed weeks ago. So really-I'm very sorry, especially for the amount of effort that you put into your last review!

Hahahahahahahaha!

-Style suggestion: this read a little forced to me. I feel like it should just read "hahaha" or "lol" instead of all those "haha's" in a row. Maybe this is just sticking out personally to me because I wouldn't type out that many in a row. So yeah, just personal observation.

Like previous chapters, I didn't find anything wrong with the editing in this, besides the personal note mentioned above. You do a really great job with your editing and keeping the character narration consistent for Emily. Her discourse and the way she writes and speaks to explain things is just what I would expect from a character with her age and background, and you're always spot on with that.

I liked the way that we saw deeper into her character by having her explain some of her school background. That's always a huge part of a teenager's life, so it was good to get the rundown on who her friends are and their history that has progressed. I think that was also realistic. It was so realistic that I sort of wished something interesting would have happened between Emily and her friends besides the sort-of cliche. The splintering off of friends is nothing new-I suppose stepping back from it, it's so true though-once girls reach high school their groups really can splinter off and change dramatically.

I liked the description of the different schools, and also the incorporation of her new school and Emily's hopes for her future. I'm glad that this chapters seems to be a break from the really serious, and plays with being lighthearted and a little playful while still moving the plot along in terms of her new educational route.

Also, I'm so pleased and happy that Emily is accepting her change and sort of feeling more optimistic about it and everything. Those last chapters were really downers, but emotionally raw because it's coming directly from the narrators, so here the uplifted attitude of "yes, we can do this, and we did this for more than just leaving our father" was highlighted.

Overall, I enjoyed this chapter, we didn't get a huge amount of setting information, but we did understand that Emily has moved to another school, and we get the name, so the dropped hint among the internal reflections worked. The best part was just learning more about how Emily operates in the social realms with peers her own age, and she was very frank about it, direct, and Megan's little note was hilarious, XD.
sw13 chapter 3 . 8/3/2010
Assholes playing them. Anyway good story, I'm really liking this format and i can't find a dang thing wrong with it.
sw13 chapter 2 . 8/3/2010
m...well done. I liked the switching characters. Am curious to why Delilah has taken this so personally. Good story
sw13 chapter 1 . 8/3/2010
Dang. Really good starting chapter. The format is different; very original. I like it. I can really kinda feel with this character.
Naomi Chick chapter 1 . 8/2/2010
I like the realistic dialogue in the chapter. It gave a clear view of the the main character situation. I like the letter she written to her aunt while talking about her family.

The details used with Megan Daly being a fake girl with her make-up overdo. Nice. Plus, the way you display her father literally forcing her across the room. It shows the emotions in the situation.

Great job. I wonder, how Emily new life will play out?
waitingforwhatever chapter 1 . 8/1/2010
"when mum plaited them"-capitalize "*M*um." Nice introduction.

"that is Aunt Cass"-put a comma between "is" and "Aunt."

"what dad"-capitalize "dad"-whenever mum or dad is listed and there isn't a "my" in front of it, it needs to be capitalized.

"We're leaving in secret, catching a train down south."-Intrigue...I wonder why they're leaving in secret..

I was a bit confused by the fact that at first she was miserable about moving, but then came up with these really good reasons that would make anyone in her situation want to move. But other than that it's great. Short and to the point, and I like the idea of writing a story in letters.
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