Reviews for Allure
Katie Nicole chapter 1 . 7/7/2010
Wow. I wonder if you realize that this is spectacular, because I truly think it is.

Firstly, your descriptions are amazing - so intense! You supply the reader with so many beautiful details to play with when acting this out in their head. And so full of emotion. I'm amazed by how well you portray your characters' emotions - they feel like MY emotions. They feel REAL.

And I adore the contrast between the characters - an innocent, broken doll and a sinister, seemingly cruel demon - and yet they are drawn to each other in some twisted, inescapable relationship. I found myself attracted to the demon, even though you state that he is a demon, because he is so confident and cool. It's like he knows he is going to keep her whether she wants him to or not, and there's something appealing about that.

There are so many compliments I could dole out to you, but I don't want to make the review longer than the story itself, haha. Some of my favorite lines were:

"He held his little, trembling doll, his smile even wider than her eyes."

"Drops of sweat, mixed with tears and rain, danced down her porcelain face."

There were plenty more that jumped out at me. The ONLY line I didn't like was "tattered veins" ... for some reason, I have a hard time imagining veins being tattered. But that is truly my only qualm with this piece.

Excellent work, definitely a favorite. Thanks for a wonderful read!
Venz0r chapter 1 . 7/13/2009
I liked the end, despite how fragile and dark this piece is. Although there's a little hope in "him", I get the sense of dread and longing that the narrator conveys. It's so conflicting, it's indescribable.

I think it's awesome that this piece got me to think this way. I would never have come up with something like this, which leaves me thoughtful. Definitely a thumbs up!

Don't give up~
confetti.hippie chapter 1 . 7/10/2009
Wow. I really love the way you word things. And I lovelovelove freeform! The ending was fantastic- so visual. You painted a very cool picture. Although I'm not too sure who the girl was, and who it was she was battling, I thought this was completely enchanting. Great job!
Icyfire4w5 chapter 1 . 7/10/2009
I love this piece, very poetic! The ending is brilliant, because it leaves me in shock.