Reviews for baby girl
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
This is definitely my favorite of yours out of your older pieces! It's so unique!

I love the first line, "We used to paint butterflies on our stomachs."

Actually, I love all the bolded lines. They express such true statements in descriptive ways.

That last line is just POW

natmarie chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
This is like a poem within a poem. It is unique and really captures emotion. I really can't say enough good things about this. Jealous.
Aiden Payne chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
This is a highly unique, multi-;ayered method of storytelling and I really liked it, absolutely amazing.
Howle chapter 1 . 8/16/2009
Really amazing work. A slow impact. This poem builds on itself and in the end, it's a powerful blow.
Isca chapter 1 . 8/16/2009
"Love. That's what they call it now." I like the tone of this line - it's very blunt and angsty.

"We used to break hearts on the back porch." I love this line - it's phenomenal.

"Somehow, I can't remember your face." Oh. My. God. That's absolutely heart-wrenching.

"You were always a liar anyway." Jesus Christ. Pardon my language, but honestly, this line is INCREDIBLE. It hits the reader square in the chest like a ton of bricks and knocks the wind right out of them. Wow.

"Sorry for the memories." This line was painful to read, not because it was horrible, but because it was quite powerful and moving - there's a sadness rising in me that won't go away - that's how impactful this line was. :)
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
You show the horrors of growing up pretty well(if that's the right word). We used to, but we grew up- ah, how sad and melancholy, but is it all that bad? I remember my youth as a horror in so far as it was ignorant and innocent- blissful, yes, but empty and vain. When you look back and realize how you've grown- you hardly recognize the boy you used to be- that boy feels so distant, almost a stranger.
Keree chapter 1 . 8/7/2009
I can feel the emotion just pouring out of this one.
improv chapter 1 . 7/30/2009
This is very powerful, and I am impressed on how you've managed to keep up the flow. :)
Doxie Doll chapter 1 . 7/26/2009
This is a really cool idea.

Love it.

CuriousContradiction chapter 1 . 7/25/2009
Best lines:

We used to paint butterflies on our stomachs


We used to break hearts on the back porch

I don't know how to describe why and how those lines are especially breathtaking, but there's just something raw and real in their simplicity. I liked them a lot.

You also set up a good flow and rhythm with your repetition. It's sad how we all grow up in the end, isn't it? I'm still trying not to.
GirlxAnachronism chapter 1 . 7/11/2009
God how I can relate to this poem right now. While the poem did relate to a specific incident, its easy for anyone to relate to the main theme of the poem. The last line is the real clincher. Wonderful!
antler chapter 1 . 7/11/2009
This holds a really emphatic meaning for me. Thanks :)
SpottedStar chapter 1 . 7/11/2009
Again this is amazing! Really really good. I kinda laughed at the "sorry about your face." part, but I know it's not really funny. Great job :)