Reviews for Time of Kings
Aspiemor chapter 31 . 10/21/2009
Oh my gosh that was a good opening. Two men lovign the same women I like stories like that. Actually I like them even more if the guy and the girl were close friedns and then teh otehr guy comes in and they fall in love making the friend a third wheel. Overall I am pleased and will read the next part when I can. I am especially eager to see how the long lost sibligns interact.
Brenda Agaro chapter 39 . 10/21/2009
So tragic what happened to Darrya. At least she realized her mistakes beforehand. Good execution of the drama, especially with Quista and Jayden. It didn't feel overdone to me. Now I'm really itching to know how this story will end. XD

I spotted a few errors below. Hope you don't mind (feel free to disregard anything that you disgaree with.)



{“Darrya Erisa, a woman grown, the future Queen of Asterland... my stomachs churning.”} stomach's.

{The mist still rose up outside though, and it scared her.} I think there should be a comma after "outside."

{“Come on over Rhys.”} A comma after "over."

{“Why... why have you returned father...?} A comma after "returned."

{his request simply fell on deaf ears though.} A comma after "ears."

{Darrya could see her brother was about to die.} This seems like telling. I think it could be dropped as the sentence before it shows this.

{heading North West to Avengard to restore the Flow and cut off the rift which the spirits were entering through.} I could be wrong, but I think it's northwest.
xBlaze of ObsidianX chapter 39 . 10/20/2009
Poor Darrya, I liked her. Well oh well, and poor Xavier as well. I can't wait for the Epilogue to come out. I can't believe this story is already almost over, frankly, I don't want it to be over. But whatever, update soon. :)

Michelle chapter 39 . 10/20/2009
OMG absolutely amazing chapter! :O Darrya! :O Lucas :O wow..! it was very good you captured the drama of the moment well...very very very gripping! :D Aw I will be sad to read the epilodgue but I'm sure ur next story will be just as amazing as this one! xx
allegro rao chapter 23 . 10/19/2009
Although personally I felt that there wasn't much going on in this chapter aside for the supernatural theme which I loved I personally have to say that I enjoyed this chapter alot. It was great to finally see some of the characters relax and what not after all that's been happening.

Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 38 . 10/19/2009
Well, it seems that this chapter is pretty much of a climax here. I really like the way you portrayed Darrys' struggles here. In a very real sense, she's coming out as a paradox character, which is something I will give credit to you for. And it really seems that Lucas has some kind of unknown agenda here as well. Guess I'll have to read on to find out. :) As for Xavier, well I'll be looking forward to see what you can actually do for him so that Lucas won't get his own way in the plot. As for the rest that had happened, well I think they're pretty much fillers in a real sense since it didn't do anything for the plot. But I'm really curious on how you will resolve the threat in this story and from your A/N, I assume it will be in the next chapter. So yeah, I'll be waiting for the whammy. As for any loose ends needing to be tied by the end, there's nothing I can think of albeit I will prefer to see an end to the Greystone debacle mainly because I don't think things are pretty much unresolved at this point of time and you've actually put his character into this chapter as well. Anyway, thanks very much for your review on The Eternal Grail. I thought I will be the earlier reviewer lol! XD
Brenda Agaro chapter 38 . 10/17/2009
I thought the part with Michella in chapter 37 was tense. You did a good job with showing what's happening. Oh...I like the ending of this chapter. This story is just getting unpredictable, which is good. You're awesome at hooking readers into knowing what's going to occur next. Very good character interaction as well, even between Xavier and Darrya. And yay, Fiana appeared again. XD I figured that Theo's role in the story is done for now (is it?), so I guess that plot thread doesn't need sorted out (or maybe he'll be mentioned/appearing sometime at the end?).
sophiesix chapter 38 . 10/17/2009
Oh dear! Porr Darrya! How's she supposed to fall in love with Ethan now? What if everyone she's killed comes back to haunt her too? :O exciting though! So, um lolose ends for tying... the flow, the choeda, getting xavier out of prison (how is he going to get back to avengaard in one chapter... unless he slows down time or something ;), the Shadow, Darrya, ... hmm, everyone else seems pretty contented to me. Well, there's Ethan of course, but Darrya will sort him out i'm sure. Nice sturdy girl, just what he needs. oh, i guess teh whole King of the North issue, Aaron vs Jayden. Personally i'd like to Ocea come back as ghost, just coz she's cool. yeah, that about it. all in one single chapter, eh? Easily doable if time stops! ;)
Narq chapter 2 . 10/17/2009
Jayden could smell it in the air. - that was nice

I loved the converstaion between Jayden Sorrel and Arron (er.. I think I spelt that name wrong). And wow, you've even got family trees ect. That's wonderful! no wonder the story's so convincing! You've clearly put a lot of thought into it!
Narq chapter 1 . 10/17/2009
Good chapter. I've got a lot to catch up with I suppose. Oh well, I'll get there slowly.

I envy the way you can create a completely new world and just present it to the reader. It is flawless. I spotted something - after dialogue, ie, "The phoenix!" Someone cried. It should be 'someone' not "Someone". Same goes for "can it be..?" She whispered. It should be 'she' whispered.

Otherwise, really intruging story! and will go on a few more chapters for tonight!
Aspiemor chapter 30 . 10/16/2009
What a twist! Mercury is dead and Darrya is on the road to ascension. Wonder how things will go when her brother enters the picture. I still love this story and consider me a reader till the end unless something unexpected happen and I don't think it will. Wonder how you will top yourself in the next book? PS I could totally picture Sierra in a pinestripe suit complete with a cigar and tommy gun. Wonder what Medina would wear?
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 37 . 10/16/2009
Herro there. Me again. :) Okay, basically, this is a good chapter in a sense you've actually created a major whammy in terms of Darrya's character development. It will be interesting to see how the whole thing will play out. But I did wish to see a snippet of how she felt towards Ethan and I don't mean just a brief sentence. As for Lucas, I suspect he's actually the final boss in this story if I was to put it in gaming terms. It will definitely be interesting to see what will come out of it albeit I'm not too sure whether I will get to see the reason behind what had happened to the Flow. I think it's pretty much of a forgotten issue for readers with short memory. :S As for Jayden, I'm glad to see a certain development in his character. To be honest though, I felt that you're just doing it just for the sake of it. To put it in a simple way, I do feel that real developments to character should have the potential to either change or strengthen a character in the future. This is one thing that you've failed to do so for now. In fact I would prefer it if you can actually use this development as a means to further the plot or at least Jayden's character. As for Ethan and Rhys, it seems that I'll be seeing interesting stuff. :)

P.S: I'll stop here for now. In fact, I'm writing a new chapter of The Eternal Grail and I plan to review your latest chapter only after having the new chapter up. :)
Michelle chapter 38 . 10/16/2009


the ending! was like heroes! :D Very good...aww I cant believe its coming to an end soon..:) such a brilliant story *wipes tear* Well done, great chapter! Your writing gets more natural and flows better which each day you shall be published! Hehe..I've said that it will definitely happen! :D well done again x
allegro rao chapter 22 . 10/15/2009
Sorry I haven't been reviewing recently. I have been busy with As-levels and what not but now I have the time to review. What else can I say about this? It was a great chapter as always with a great beginning and ending though I thought the beginning with the blood e.t.c might have been a little bit graphic but that's just squeamish old me. Loved the Xavier and the wolf thing and I can't believe that Xavier's alive:

King of Kings chapter 9 . 10/15/2009
I can't imagine Ethan would ally himself with Mercury after all the latter man has done, but then again, Mercury appears to have some experience in manipulation. I wonder what he plans to use Ethan for, and if it's not solely for power, why 'is' he doing all this?

The poor Sorrels! I hope they get Amelia back all right...however they do it.

Great chapter!
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