Reviews for Time of Kings
Revamp chapter 12 . 9/26/2013
You can really feel the tension between Rhys and Ethan. You can also really feel the pain that Ethan has as a character. This was a nice addition of depth to Rhy's father as well as Ethan explaining the answers of the past.

This cliffhanger has me sitting on the edge of my seat. I'm going to read ahead now.
Revamp chapter 11 . 9/26/2013
This start of the new book is interesting. Fiana is a quirky and insightful character and I am equally intersted in Ivan as well. I love how their attitudes have been developed so far. It was a nice premise of things to come. Great job on this one!
Revamp chapter 10 . 9/26/2013
Poor Quista, forced to marry Mercury but I like the internal struggle that she has presented in this chapter. I also loved the insight on the Erisa's character as well. Great job!
Revamp chapter 9 . 9/24/2013
I had a feeling that Monique's condition would worsen, especially with her stubborn nature getting in the way. Mercury and Ethan's moments were tense. I wonder how he's going to get out of that hard to squeeze out of situation. The whole chapter is very emotionally charged. I can feel my heart breaking at their situations- Amelia missing, Ethan's imprisonment and Monique's worsening illness. It seems Mercury is up to his ways of trying to manipulate Ethan and the Ronellas. I wonder what Ethan will do now?

Mercury is a rather interesting man, however. I believe there is something more to him. Every villain has a reason and the fact that I love dark characters probably plays into that method of thinking. So far, he and Darrya are two of my favorite characters.
Revamp chapter 8 . 9/24/2013
Darrya is certainly a brutal and cold woman who tosses people aside and treats them like trash but that's what makes her character so interesting as well. I always like to try to understand people with that type of mindset. I loved that bit of action where Darrya was taking out the Mylorians. It was well-executed and descriptive. I was on the edge of my seat as I continued to read to the end. This is definitely one of my favorite chapters.
Revamp chapter 7 . 9/15/2013
Being trampled sounds painful. I've been drug by a horse and I had bruises on the entire right side of my body. It was only a short distance but it was still painful. I'm glad that Jayden is alright, though I am worried for Monique's fading health.

I like the concept of the voices of the dead talking that you presented here and in the prior chapters. I wonder what Quista is going to do about Mercury's proposition. I wonder what the note means and what happened to Amelia. I'm on the edge of my seat!
Revamp chapter 6 . 9/15/2013
Something really tells me that Darrya is going to bring the fire this chapter. There was a lot of build up with several of the characters as the premise of war draws them closer and closer. Mercury's attack plan was a very interesting and ingenious one. I love the action with the burning castle as well.
Revamp chapter 5 . 9/15/2013
I wonder what that voice whispering death to Xavier was and what it meant. Sounds like foreshadowing of events to come. I do wonder what the background on the Ronellas hate is. It seems the voices continue throughout this chapter and they are haunting Jayden. I wonder what it all means and what will become of him in the chapters to come.
Revamp chapter 4 . 9/15/2013
A chapter about Quista, I like it and her character. She seems like a down to earth girl and gentle soul with a lot of spunk. I like her way of thinking and her overall mindset about people who possessed good hearts.

Soundgarden does have peculiar rules about having weapons or using them. I wonder why. I like the Kasper and Aaron sparring match. It was interesting and well-executed. I like how you go into the religion of Soundgarden as well. It's very fascinating to look into the religious structure that people set up for their different races or groups of people. Their complex structure of their system of worship.
Revamp chapter 3 . 9/15/2013
I like the characterization put into Darrya and her bond with the phoenix mystifies me as well. I really like Darrya's character, she's interesting and deep and I am intrigued by her maid, Greta too. I wish to know more about her. I wonder what will happen with Mercury. I feel like he's plotting something especially reagarding his longing to see Darrya dead. Wonderful chapter!
Revamp chapter 2 . 9/15/2013
I am guessing the phoenix is the same one from Hailstorm? I'm reading a great backstory to it if that's the case. I love the information between the Pendragons and Erisa. This is a great build up and I can see your plot forming as I continued to read on. You can really get a feel of the bitter feelings between the Sorrels and Ronellas from Cain's dialogue as well.

This is a nice build up for what looks to be the main battle and it rises a lot of questions about Darrya, the phoenix and the battles of the past. I'm intruiged already. Great job!
Revamp chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
I'm a little late on reviewing this but I finally had some time to set aside. So far, I think it was just fine, not boring at all. In fact it stirred up a lot of questions. I look forward to reading more of this work.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 19 . 5/20/2012
The ending of the chapter is just a little too cliche. Although usually I'm all for cliches, the whole stopping the wedding with "this couple cannot be wed" and "You and what army" thing just took it a bit over-the-top. If you edit this, maybe consider changing things a bit so it's not soooo...predictable. Other than that, I think the scenes before it were done well, with a lot of well written action worked in.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 18 . 4/28/2012
Can feel things building up here, with the mixture of characters and the different events happening to them. A few little things I noticed -

[his father had titled himself a King.] Could drop the 'a'.

The scene with Rhys' dream of I've pointed out before, you may want to steer clear of anything overly Games of Thornes-y. I would suggest finding another way to convey Rhys' feelings.

Most things I spotted are things I've mentioned before, so I won't go through them all again here. The only other thing I have to say is regarding the last sentence; 'The Shadow' should be 'the Shadow', unless it's starting a sentence. And with ["But it is not the money I am worried about…"] I think you could just have a single full-stop at the end, otherwise it feels too much like you're forcing a cliffhanger in.
Guest chapter 17 . 3/16/2012
Interesting chapter. I think I've mentioned some of the small grammar things before so I won't go into them here. The characters remain interesting although, like I said before, you may want to distance it a bit from Game of Thrones. Xavier's character especially. I was surprised he trusted Mya enough to tell her his identity - even more so when he seemed to trust her after she told everyone. I think, in some parts, you need to show a bit more of the emtions of the characters, so the reader has a better idea of how they feel about things. Be careful, too, when using a character's thoughts that you're avoiding telling - a line like [Damn, he cursed, Poison…] isn't needed. The reader can see it's poison, can see the effect on him, and by having that you are pushing it more towards telling, rather than showing.
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