This was pretty good. If you put a little more detail and description into it, it would've been better.

But good job! I liked it. :)

Pretty good.

It was a little bare, and I think if you added further description or used metaphors a little more it may improve a bit.

But, nice job. :]

Very dark. Good starting idea but it didn't really move anywhere. Try to elaborate on the purpose a little more and it would be awesome.

Great starting point with the idea though.