Aww I love this story! The ending was so cute, and your paragraph at the end was really well written.

The one thing I thought you could have done was expanded on the scene where the wolf saved her. That would have given the chapter more essence.

That was quite good all in all.

-EC from the review marathon (Link in my profile)

Okay this story went from being nice and cute too utterly creeping me out. I love it for that though. You are very good with description.

Although I didn't like how said "the greasy one" That was kindof weird for some reason. It didn't take away fomr the chapter though.

Omg. Now I'm scared for Red! Poor girl. I love how you are able to bring out emotion in me. Good job on that.

I also liked your description of her Granmothers house. It reminded me of the eact house in the fairytale.

OH no! That was such a twist. I liked the twist though, it added more to the story than just them wanting to see each other.

I also liked your description of Alpha. He actually creeped me out, which is I guess good.

I realy like your dislouge. It flows nicely and seems natural.

How does the wolf write? you might want to explain that because me trying to find that out is taking away fomr my focus on the story.

The last line makes me want to read more, more than ever. It pulls you in and that makes it likable.

I like your length too. Normally this would be a little short for what I usully read but it seems just perfect for this story. And for making something with such short length I applaud you.

Did the wolf die o! If he did I'll cry!

How does a wolf drink wine? That didn't really make sense to me therefor I didn't like it.

However I did like this line "This was to be the last kick of winter, its last breath before it lost the fight with spring till the next annual round." Very descriptve as well as it gives the time frame of the story.

"I knocked upon it the other day to see how she was feeling since it had been a few days since the huntsman’s last visit and I was met with the dark double barrels of a shotgun. Is that normal?" That line was too funny. Loved it.

I'm a little confused as to whether or not the wolf is in love with red and she loves him, or do they just love each other as like family type thing? You may want to clear that up, either in editing the pas few or in the latter chapters to make your story more understandable.

Oh my! He ate her gran! That really sursprised me so kudos on that. I like surprises, they add excitement to a story.

Also I liked the last paragraph. How you described the wolf's feelings was exquisite. Good job.

This reminds me of red riding hood. Maybe it's you own spin on it?

Anyways I love it so far. I like the exchanging of letters. I've always foundthat letters are the most adorable way to express love.

I do wish you would have given "Wolf" A different name on the letter. I think it would have flowed better in my opinon.

That was so very engaging. You have just the right amount of desription, I loved it. I want to know what happens now, I'll keep reading.

"Her mother’s eyes watched like a trickster crows from the kitchen to be sure of her daughter’s whereabouts" This line confused me. You might want to clear that up.

-EC from the review marathon (Link in my profile)

I loved this story, it is very well written. I always like a new look at fairy tales.

I wanted to say that you might considering taking a look at Hans Chistian Anderson's fairy tales. He is the one who wrote the very first Little Mermaid, the Ugly Duckling etc. I bet you would find them interesting.

Keep writting! (I'll have to catch up.)

Sophia

This was a good start, but I wished there was just a little more description, because right now I don't feel like we're getting enough of a grasp on this as we could. For instance, why isn't Red allowed out of the house? Why does her mother watch her? This does look like it could be interesting, but that was definitely an area where I was confused.

One other thing: "...dust stirred in her trail as she reached the wooden box with simple numbers on it." - This sentence is a run-on right now, but if you change 'stirred' to 'stirring', it's an easy fix.

Happy writing!

-Othello, from the Review Marathon (See the link on my profile for details.)