Reviews for Grayscale
Fleur-de-lis Evans chapter 3 . 8/17/2009
Gosh I really dislike Claire's friends! You wrote them so well that they make my skin crawl!

Also, it's interesting to see Clare completely oblivious to the fact they make fun of her.


"Dangling her thin, straight blond hair behind the chair, one shake of her head sent it fluttering, light shimmering down it in ripples. Her head was leaned back over the top of the chair."

- You don't really need the second sentence because you previously mention that her hair is dangling behind the chair. So you don't need to state her head leaned back against the chair.

Kudos on a great chapter.
Fleur-de-lis Evans chapter 2 . 8/17/2009
You really showed Gertie's character well! It makes me as a reader like her more. Also, great job showing the mooching friendship Claire has with her.

This really is an intriguing story!

A few things I noticed:

(1) ",... he was presumably THE bartender."

- Originally you has "as the bartender"

(2) "; a small group of college students was dancing to THE music,"

Kudos on another great chapter!
k.maag chapter 2 . 8/13/2009
So far, this story isn't bad, but it's not very interesting. What exactly are you satirizing here?

Nice descriptions though! Happy writing!
Fleur-de-lis Evans chapter 1 . 8/3/2009
This is amazing!

I have to say I really like Gertie! I hope she's in the story more, although it's mostly likely centered round Clare!

You developed Clare so well in this chapter and it's really well done.

Kudos on a great chapter!
hieilover135 chapter 4 . 7/17/2009
I like it. You made Claire out to be a really mean person but judging from the summary I'm sure that's for a good reason. I'm just mad I got to the story before it was I'll always wonder what's gonna happen to Claire.
Tohrupenguin chapter 3 . 7/16/2009
Clare really makes me laugh! She is quite the shrew. I like your writing style, too. Thanks for updating so fast! I'm excited to read more. :)
uponatyme chapter 2 . 7/15/2009
I have to say, the way you've painted this character makes her completely undesirable. I find myself wondering why I should care about her at all. And yet...I do. She's piqued my interest, and I want to read more. In conclusion, job well done! Can't wait for an update.
ranDUMM chapter 1 . 7/14/2009

Hahahaha, nice workk ! That's was really good! It had a lot of brilliant description, and made her seem lie a little girl, even though she was a woman. Question; is she dyslexic? Anyway, really well done! By the way, you're quite welcome at my forum, The Lounge, if you ever want to hang out and relax :) It's accessible through my page.

Anyway, nice story, can't wait for the update!