|Reviews for Black Silk|
| Jennyt82 chapter 17 . 4/29/2010
What an amazing story! There is simply not enough were fiction on this site and your story is an excellent addition to the ones that are here. I'm going to see if i can find the sequel. Thanks for a fantastic read!
| TwilightEclps chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
| Eccthlacine chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Wonderful read. :) Very simple but well written. Though sometimes reading about certain couples with kids isn't very entertaining, the tenderness of Cole and vic's relationship really makes me want to see their future; a sequal would be amazing. Meeting coles parents and seeing their take on their relationship would be interesting to read too. Can't wait to read more of your work!
| HeARmeRaWR chapter 16 . 4/18/2010
I actually downloaded this story off of feedbooks a while ago, like before I even knew it was on FP. I found out it was on here when charliej, author of The Mating (awesome story btw), mentioned it and I looked it up on here. Needless to say I was surprised to find it on here. I thought it was just in feedbooks \ IDK why I'm telling you all this lol but I also want to say that I love, love, love, LOVE this story! There are very few, well written paranormal romances out there and yours defiantly qualifies as one of the best I have read, in my opinion. Cole and Vic make a cute couple and I am a sucker for happy endings :D I just plain loved it!
PS IDK what took me so long to review but here it is! :] Sorry for not doing it sooner, I can be such a ninny O.o LOL
| MadameLeQueen chapter 17 . 4/16/2010
Absolutely adorable and fantastic! I love this story(; because it really well writen and there's a whole lot of information on the genes that run through both human and were veins. X) creative and loving it(:
| Meg Wren chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
I just got your book off barnes and ! Congrats on being published, I was so excited to a story from fictionpress on here! :D
| ChristianAngel01 chapter 16 . 4/9/2010
aa that was awesome! I loved it one ofthe best stories I have ever read lol ...love the romance and happy ending!
| lostlette chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
| Swarlos chapter 5 . 4/4/2010
While driving Cole to her house is a strange time/place for Vic to discover and simultaneously admit that she can trust him. If her trusting him is instictual, it's a sense that she would have felt immediately when she first doubted him.
Vic dwells on the death of her parents a little too much, making the pain seem fresh ... How long ago did they die?
The parallels that Vic draws between Cole and Mister/cats are good uses of chracterization. Cole calling Mister "bro" ... a bit strange for me.
Few typos. Nice use of light humor. Relationship still moving at a nice pace. (Serisously. I don't know how many things I read in which a relationship goes from awkward flirting and uncertainty to lustful sex in a matter of pages.)
P.S. This may be as far as I can read today. Moving into a new apratment.
P.S.S. I warned you that I was a harsh critic, but you're a good writer. Do not think otherwise. :)
| Swarlos chapter 4 . 4/4/2010
So, I totally just got the whole "game of cat and mouse" thing, which is completely original and creative. Major kudos. And the relationship seems to be moving at a nice pace. Had Cole kissed Vic on the lips rather than her forehead, I'd have been all over you. Nice touch.
Vic is a terrible waffler. But it's believable. I do suggest, however, making her doubts sound a little less desperate. Whiny and desperate female characters - especially protagonists - are unappealing. Damsels in distress are distasteful.
Again, with the hint-dropping. ALL of Vic's customers warned her that the gunman would come after her? Really? A small town community would be trying to console, not terrify. "Don't worry, Vic. He's too scared to come back to Farmdale. We'll never see him 'round here again."
Few typos. Light humor is agreeable. I do suggest adding more colloquialisms, which are local sayings. I believe you used "as nice as pie" to describe Mister. Phrases like that would really add to the "small-town America" atmosphere.
| Swarlos chapter 3 . 4/4/2010
Note: I have realized that Vic has a name ... Lack of dialogue in the first chapter, as you can see, causes hardship in remembering the name of the first-person narrator. Vic was only addressed by name once. Also, Vic is a rather masculine name, and masculine Victoria Hudson is not. End note.
In the previous chapter, Cole was not described in any manner other than the large hand that covered Vic's mouth. Yet, he sets one foot inside of her shop, and she can instantly identify him. That is a HUGE inconsistentcy if it appears that she did not truly see him in the shadows of the building.
Now, the character foils of good girl/bad boy and plain Jane/mean, prtty Mindy can be cliche, so beware that they don't go too far.
And the budding romance between Vic and Cole ... Be careful that it doesn't move too quickly. Leigtamate relationships are built on time.
Again, few typos. Solid writing. Good sentence variation. Nice figurative language.
| Swarlos chapter 2 . 4/4/2010
Okay. Here's the harshness.
This was a very typical opening with a very typical protagonist.
Nondescript female character; owns bookstore; parents deceased; lives with cat; leads unexciting life; single and searching for a beau; interested in the paranormal; saved by mysterious stranger who will later become a love interest and happens to be one of the paranormal creatures from her favorite genre of novels.
The mood is also one of depressed desperation for the majority of this chapter; what should be subtle hints toward the protagonist's desire for companionship are neon-lighted billboards. The atmosphere should be a simple "hum-drum;" boring, but more effective than "woe is me!"
I found few typos - nothing that can't be fixed. A couple of run-ons with an overuse of "I." Solid writing overall.
I do like that the protagonist has remained nameless, though I question whether or not that was done on purpose. And I also like that the future love-interest was not described in appearance, since he was behind the protagonist during the entire encounter. As for the would-be criminal, there could have been a single feature that was prominent enough to stick in the protagonist's mind.
Have you steeled yourself?
| Swarlos chapter 1 . 4/4/2010
Hi. I'm Swarlos from the FPSSA. Your story was nominated for the category of Best Written, for which I am the Judge. I'll be editing a copy/paste version of your chapters in Microsoft Word for Carter, my boss, should you be interested in my e-mailing them to you. I will also be leaving reviews with general thoughts, observations, and suggestions/questions. I can be a pretty harsh critic, so steel yourself. I say what I say to help writers, even if that means bruising delicate self-esteems in the process.
I'll be looking at a combination of technical factors, including: diction (word choice), syntax (structure), punctuation, grammar, spelling, style, figurative language, literal language, etc. I'll also be observing plot and character development ... Basically, everything. Best Written was originally for writng techinicalities such as spelling, grammar, and punctuation, but what's correct and proper writing without decent plots and characters? So, I just made this into an all-or-nothing category.
Anyway, I'll stop my rambling and get to reading.
| Ghost n' Ghoul Girl chapter 17 . 3/31/2010
omg. THAT WAS AMAZING! i loved it soo much. but it oul definatly have been better if it was longer. maybe with black heart, you an make it longer. 8-) it as fantastic, nothing more to say
| Cupid's Jinx chapter 17 . 3/26/2010
A truly moving piece, thank you so much for posting it up - an incredible read.