|Reviews for Did you feel me lock my arms around you?|
| KelaBelle chapter 2 . 7/23/2009
aww very nice ox
| Hoodfabulous chapter 2 . 7/23/2009
Oh and the title, change the name. I can't understand it. I think you meant to write feel, fix that, pronto!
| Hoodfabulous chapter 1 . 7/23/2009
You know, I was totally just thinking about that now that I'm planning on posting a story on here. And that people just want to get their opinions and ideas out there for everyone to see. That takes total guts. But if you want to be better at writing stories you should expand your vocabulary and at least go over the chapter twice. You need to care about your grammar, okay? If you confuse words like threw instead of through all the time, it just doesn't look good. And you (people in general) focus on that sometimes more than what’s going on in the story, bad grammar is distracting. So use a spell checker whenever possible.
Also I don't really like the format, maybe if you could not bunch up the words so much. If you could double space, like this:
And it's so short! Kind of a cliché story, but what isn't, in romance? I don’t really like crude language, and there’s some fragment sentences thrown in chapter 1 and 2. As long as you keep on reading published work with good grammar and you continue to write stuff, you’ll soon see simple mistakes and you’ll improve. Hopefully in the future you’ll know what fits and what doesn’t to a critical eye. If you can create a total surprising twist, one besides murder or abuse from a parent or something like that, I think trying to make one of those could be a challenge whenever you decide to. Okay this thing’s really long.
Good luck and good job :)
| Emo-Tears-Forever chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
Your not bad for a noob. jk but you do have a few spelling errors. (But don't let that get you down. I'm a horrible speller too!) I think this is going to evolve into a good story. Just don't give up on it.