Reviews for Car Ride
Thescarredman chapter 1 . 12/23/2009
It doesn't hurt to leave a few things to the reader's imagination. even if he draws the wrong conclusion, the imagery still onveys the scene and emotion. I thought it was about a girl and a boyfriend who are still together long after neither of them sees a reason to go on with it.
Raingypsy chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
I really enjoyed this. You have a magnificent gift for constructing great desriptive sentences. I'm jealous :)

I especially loved the comparison to marbles. I really understood what you were trying to get across.

Well done.
AalibeeinHeaven chapter 1 . 11/21/2009
THIS WAS A GREAT READ I REALLY ENJOYED IT AND THE DESCRIPTIONS WERE WHAT REALLY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION YOU OVER USE COMMAS CAUSING RUN ON SENTENCES BUT THEN AGAIN I DO IT TOO...AT ANY RATE I'D SAY THIS WAS REALLY GOOD
Ashlee Pond chapter 1 . 9/30/2009
Great description, a very interesting read.
Alexi Stone chapter 1 . 9/29/2009
This is a well-polished piece. Brilliantly written, although vague. Grammatically speaking, you tend to use excess commas (but don't we all.)

Your metaphors are right on. Your adjectives enhance the scene/person.

I especially loved the "marble" bit. I used to feel that way all the time.
NicoleandMaryBand chapter 1 . 9/8/2009
Thanks for the review!

This piece had great word choice and you paid close attention to the little details. The images that you portrayed were excellent. Good job!

- Nicole and Mary
lilmisssarcasmx chapter 1 . 7/26/2009
I liked this - I don't think it matters that it is vague, it makes you want to read more to find out what's going on. I loved the third paragraph, the one about nostalgia. I liked how you described it as 'eager to spread itself through my veins.'

good job :)
figments chapter 1 . 7/24/2009
yes it is a little bit vague, but that is not a problem. i like the way that this is written, and i dont need to fully understand what is going on to be able to appreciate how you paint the situation. on the other hand, it is nice to know the context. just not essential.

i really like how you pick the words up off the floor, and also your image of the broken marbles.

figments