|Reviews for beautiful insomniac|
| Narq chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Wow, this is such a great poem on many levels.
Whilst reading, the brakets provide different pathways for readers and it means totally different things.
For the eye, it presents a nice, well tidied piece which isn't at all regular, like normal poetry, but it is pleasing, and immediately you feel like you're talking from two POVs.
| Cinnia Aine chapter 1 . 11/2/2009
I really have no words to describe how... perfect this poem is. It's amazing. I love the double meanings and the style of it, how the poem is almost taunting in some ways. The wording fits it fantastically. I think my favorite lines are
"because you’re addictive like those
liquid dares in a glass you swallow to
reli(e)ve your pain and free(ze) yourself",
"and i laugh sardonically- dark january sarcasm- because
you think you’re invincible, but boy,
i can possess you like a shadow",
"plunging your fears in reckless chaos,
and secrets laced with poison",
"where dreams are made of black holes and chaos, not stardust", and
"hope is only a drug for hypocritical cynics." Those lines seem to stand out the most to me and are the most meaningful. The poem is flawless, in my eyes.
| Star Dot Storm chapter 1 . 10/27/2009
Inspiring. Beautiful. It's grace, it's raw truth.
Your writing takes people to a new level, whether it scares them or it enlightens them.
You have an amazing gift, and I love that you aren't afraid to write what we all know, but are too scared to face.
Star Dot Storm
| AngelaRochelle chapter 1 . 9/6/2009
Whoa. I clicked on this thinking it would just be another of the thousands of poems that fill FictionPress, but I guess you proved me wrong. During the time I read it, I was never left behind due to confusing writing, and the figurative language was so there. Your imagery...it was perfect. And your vocabulary was astounding! It wasn't like all of your words were particularly large ones, but they were all so unique and uncommon, and when someone takes so many atypically used words and puts them together, they seem to lock into place. You put beautiful words together. XD Furthermore, with both this imagery and vocab, you managed to incorporate so much feeling/emotion into the entire poem.
Wow. I really, really mean it when I say this poem is awesome and awesome and awesome. I don't even have the right word for it. 'Awesome' hardly does it justice.
Amazing job and good luck writing!
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
This is very thought-provoking! With the paranthesis and the formatting. It's all very well-written.
I would love opinions from a writer like you on my work, it would mean a lot to me!
| JaCi.RaE chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
lovely poem. [i am] at a loss for words. the bracket idea was ingenious, and the overall layout gives it a different feel, like it seems more edgy just 'cause it's not lined up. you obviously put some(large)amount of time into this and its very good. can't say much else...
*fav. line(s): "because you're addictive like those liquid dares in a glass you swallow to reli(e)ve your pain and free(ze) yourself"
| SomeoneToLove chapter 1 . 8/26/2009
Wow. Just wow. This is beautifully written - it's one of those poems that you can't believe somebody actually wrote! It's really original, and I thought the (brackets) where a brilliant idea; I've never seen anyone use them like that before!
| Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
Wow. Perfection :)
This was very well written and thought out & full of real emotion.
It all flowed well & I love the structure of this poem.
It was a nice effect using the parenthesis to give some lines double meanings.
Great word choice throughout the piece!
"i can possess you like a shadow" -I like this line it really stuck with me.
Overall I must say this was just a delight to read! :D
| Just Silly Me chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
Wow nice... great style and everything. :). Just please capitalize your "I"'s- I don't know if you did it on purpose or anything, but that kind of bugged me... otherwise I liked. Ahahahaha I'm such an insomniac.
| Sasha 'The Dramatic' Blue chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
i love the wordplay and your format.
i'm at loss for words here lmao
this poem was really amazing.
good job! you're a really good writer.
keep up the good work
| asianinvasion0530 chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
I'm not really a poetry reader and know like nothing about it but even I can tell that that was brilliant. Seriously I envy your poetry writing skills 'cause they are way good. You should perform this 'cause it seems like it would be a good out-loud poem or song or something haha. And I liked the parentheses inside the words, that was really clever. But anyways, you should write poetry more often 'cause you definitely have a knack for it.
| A Merry Savant chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
Hum... it feels cynical and hopeful. My favorite stanza's the second one... And then, you said "hope is only a drug for hypocritical cynics" That stanza really halted me. Then it drew me in to think about the double-meaning'd parentheses up top. Then I fell in deeper love because this had multiple facets. Like life. PROPS MANY
Okay... wordings that niggled at me: "dark january sarcasm", "doesn't it, dear", and "you know". January: Much Ado About Nothing, in the first act Beatrice said something about "Not 'till a hot January". Maybe that's the allusion you were going for, but it felt a tad cliche. Replace that phrase with something like "no pity present"?
I have a friend that gets sweet [sarcasm] when she's mad. That may be why I felt "doesn't it, dear" to be somewhat I dunno... "doesn't it, dear" fits the tone of the poem at that point well; end of interrogation; change of tone; it marks a stop between the prelude and the finishing stanzas. Replace it with something else? "Is that not so?" might work. Or "reddened vision"? "...Do you see red?" "Have you seen red yet?" [shrug] It's your call.
| A Kiss in the Dreamhouse chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
This was really intruiging...nice. Liked the use of brackets!
| Autumn's Addiction chapter 1 . 7/31/2009
Oh my goodness! This is ingenious! I really, really love it. It's so original and unique, and I can say that I honestly love it. You must be a very creative person to come up with this :) It's different, and I love how you use the parenthesis. Some of the phrases you used are amazing, and the imagery amazing. Simply amazing.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/30/2009
oh my. i totally read this, but i guess i didn't review!
i envy your way with words. you write so beautifully! this poem was fantastic :]