|Reviews for Jeremy|
| Mom's Mistake chapter 1 . 7/30/2009
wow this is one of my favourites. not much else to say. great job. I do wonder, though, where do you get your inspiration?
| howdylv08 chapter 1 . 7/29/2009
That was so screwed up! (In a good way for the author, but not for the character :D) That made me so sad :( I wish someone would have visited Amelia... :( I noticed a few things:
-"...as to ease whatever it was that obviously upsetting her." Change 'upsetting' to 'upset'
-"...look into her chocolate orbs that tears were still clung to." Remove the 'were'
-"Well it seems that somehow or another managed to break out of a window..." Put 'she' between 'another' and 'managed'
But the rest was amazing! I really like the way you develop stories and relationships and characters. You do an amazing job. Maybe instead of getting all these little (actually, quite large) reviews, I could Beta-Read for you? Just to catch the little mistakes early... Just a thought...
| MartinIsMyGoldfish chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
Wow! I really loved this and I wish that you would expand it into a full story! This makes for a very creepy and very cool ending, but it could also make for an awesome beginning to a story . . . where does Amelia go? What does Anthony do about it?
I noticed a few grammatical things (sorry, can't help it):
"You're own brother said that?" - should be "YOUR own brother said that?"
*Commas are used before quotation marks, not periods:
"I know." he whispered admitting defeat in her. "But, I can get you out of here." he then offered.
- "I know," he whispered, admitting defeat in her. "But I can get you out of here," he then offered."
Also a few spelling errors, nothing major.
I would really like to see more of this, it's such a great start!
| Broken-Angel-1994 chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
If this is the end, then you should write the beginning! So, she's crazy? I'd like to read more if you post some!
| VampireAcademyDB chapter 1 . 7/25/2009
I agree! you should make this into a story.. it's really sad :"( n i'd like to know anthony and amelia more
| The Parisian Guanaco chapter 1 . 7/25/2009
Oh my gosh, that's awful! How sad. ( I feel terrible for Amelia... It was a really good passage, though. If this is only the very end, you should write the whole thing! It would be really good, I'm sure.