Ah, when are you going to update?

I'm a bit confused why Cindy and the other girls started to like Fatima so quickly, but I guess I'll see!

Why is Ivor being so distant? I guess I'll find out soon, huh

I really really really like this story! It's so imaginative! At first, from the description, I thought it was going to be like one of mine, but it turned out to be so different! I'm adding it to my alerts.

Woah. The story is picking up! I really like it :) You had some great character descriptions in this chapter and I really like Fatima's voice.

Ah, I love boarding school stories! Especially supernatural ones. Looks like this one's going to be really interesting!

This was a great prologue. Very intriguing! I'm going to keep reading!

HOWS IVOR GOING TO REACT! *hopping from foot to foot*

me cant wait. *eager expression*

whens the update?

oh.

thats all I can think to say so...

UPDATE!

I mean update. *smiles*

Seems interesting...

I really love it when characters think or say things that make them seem like they're not a character, like how Fatima says she wouldn't believe it even if it was a book. The irony of it always cracks me up. I have Alecia do it a couple of times. She'll say things like "If I was a brave protagonist in a novel, I would probably do that differently, but this is real life." When she IS a protagonist in a novel. Just not very brave. lol. I went off on an insignificant tangent.

Lol the zombie. Fatima's thoughts add comedy to the story. Kudos.

You use a lot of buts, as in there'd be two in the sentence before, and another in the next sentence as well. Watch out for that.

I really like how you've brought kelpies, werewolves, mermaids, and zombies into one group. Beautiful.

The zombie friendship is very morbidly sweet. lol.

I like how you choose to name your places. The Prestidigitation Realm. A mouthful, yes, but very cool sounding. You should come up with a nickname.

I liked the chapter. I see you definately used the knowledge that more white space is better to your advantage. At some points, I felt it was TOO much white space - like every paragraph was just a line in a poem. Balance is key.

Sorry it took me so long to review!

Sammy is absolutely adorable... for a zombie, that is. I'm really loving your story more now! I'll be waiting for your next update!

I like the way you separate the different factions of the school and name them according to their elemental basis. Very cool. :-D Tora sounds lovely.

I don't want to keep commenting on grammatical errors with your chapters. I'm assuming this is your first draft of Edgar's Unnatural High, and I know how bothersome it is to get the story sounding good, let alone the grammar. I'll focus mostly on the story for you. I realize I could go on forever nitpicking grammar details and than that would take my attention away from your wonderful story.

I figured out on my own that he was a zombie.

When she makes that comment above, does it signify that she figured that out instantly, when she thought it, or that she's telling this story from the tense of someone who completed these adventures a long time ago? Oh. and lol. Zombies that go to school? I saw an interesting anime with a weird play on zombies - they still think like they are alive, they're just inhuman. I wish I could remember. Anyway, I can't wait to see how you make your zombies. Mines are still vicious as all hell.

I like the names and seperation of Elements in your school. At one point, I wanted to write a story about a magical school named Duaver's School of the Elemental (or something like that). I had it seperated much like that, except there were also Light sections and Dark Sections, but I soon abandoned the idea. Yours is really cool, nonetheless!

Of course, you're the writer here and I wouldn't really know this, but I don't know what would make Fatima thank Ivor. So far, she's focused on all the things he did that pissed her off, so it still comes across - at this point - that she would never thank him. I saw Fatima as something of a stubborn character. I would think, with all the seemingly rude things he's done to her, it would take a while for her to want to thank him. Basically, it seems too early in the story for that. Not only is she still upset about the school, but not enough time went by for her to forgive him for dragging her away from her old life. I get the feeling, though, that you want to move their relationship along...and I could say so much more about this, but I don't want to blabber on.

I LOVE how you've brought in a high Priestess, mind reading elf.

And I also just love the way you ended this chapter. You know, you're getting really good at that - ending the chapter on a cliff hangers note.

Great job! Besides some errors already pointed out by others, this is great! I don't normally read fantasy fanfic because it often gets too cliche or boring for my taste, but I'm surprised to say I'm hooked. :D Can't wait for the next chapter!

I wanted to say something about the use of 'had' in the first sentence of the second paragraph, but I don't know what exactly to say - it appears wrong, but I've always had a problem with using 'had.'

They would say things like ‘that girl’s stupid, she was screaming for because of a rat;

I'm sure the above sentence was a typo.

I don't know how to pinpoint the exact problem, but you do use had too much.

Awesome! He's half werewolf - either that means he's half human or half other creature, which opens the door to so many marvels (when handled correctly).

There were very little dialogue problems in the first part, but they seemed to come back in the second part in the form of periods that should have been commas.

lol. Like me, you notice how fiction always tends to have mentors who are agonizingly vague, and Fatima, like Alecia, comments on it - as you'll learn later in the story. Neither Levi or Augustine are mentors to her. That's a future character.

I LOVE this Main Transporter, dimension thing. So awesome. And the rest about the six dimensions...you've proved your creativity level is high. I REALLY can't wait for the next chapter. I also really can't wait to hear about the dimensions. I love stories with alternate dimensions.