|Reviews for March 18th, 3AM|
| spacebound chapter 1 . 7/30/2009
Hi. :) I really like your concept, here. It's really sad, like there's something they both want to say, but they haven't got the guts. It's really sad when she said her mom died and when she admits she hadn't called for a ride. The way she asks for her to just come and hug her really struck me, because it showed how alone she was. It's really sweet how her friend cares for her, even though they apparently haven't been that close for a while.
At first I thought that it would be better if you put some description in, but now I don't think so. I think that would make it too heavy. So now I like the way it's just conversation, I think it's interesting, and different in a good way. The thing I think would make it better would be if you put both people who're talking in quotation marks. At first I didn't realise that someone was actually saying it, that it wasn't just a thought. I clued in pretty quick, obviously, so it's not that big of a deal, but I think it would help. It'll be distinguishable either way that it's someone different talking because of the way you skip a line.
But yeah. I liked it. :)